by special request::NO FAIL GLUTEN STEAKS & GRAVY

>> Tuesday, July 28, 2009

SARAH'S EASY GLUTEN STEAKS

(this is a no-fail recipe if you follow it!)

You Need:
extra large/deep soup pot
large skillet for frying (or 2 medium ones)
3 medium to large mixing bowls
blender
water
soy sauce or Bragg's Liquid Aminos
walnuts
nutritional yeast flakes
quick oats
onion powder
crushed garlic (or garlic powder)
goya adobo seasoning (whichever is your favorite)
vital wheat gluten flour
unbleached white flour
bread crumbs
cornstarch
white onion
jar of alfredo sauce (if you like white gravy, if not, skip this)


Start Your Broth:
3 quarts water
1/2 - 3/4 cup soy sauce or Bragg's aminos

Start water to boil in extra large pot, add soy sauce or aminos to water.


Start Your Steaks:
1 ¾ cup very warm water
½ cup walnut pieces
¼ cup nutritional yeast flakes
¼ cup quick oats
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon fresh crushed garlic (or garlic powder)

Put all ingredients into blender. Blend on high until liquid is smooth and silky. Pour into medium/large mixing bowl.

Stir in quickly and thoroughly, all at once:
2 ¼ cup vital wheat gluten flour

Work the dough quickly into a log. (NOTE: If you knead or stir it too much it will get hard and tough and will ruin the texture of your steaks.)

Let the log rest 10 minutes. You can wrap it in plastic wrap or parchment paper to prevent drying out, and place it in the refrigerator if you like.

Slice the log into ½ inch rounds, then press them by hand into larger steaks. They will significantly expand in the broth, so don't cut them too thick or they'll be massive.

Drop them into your now-boiling broth. Turn broth to medium and let simmer 45 minutes to 1 hour. You will need to repeatedly press steaks back under the broth.

Take pot off the burner and let them cool in the pot a bit. Then either drain the pot into a colander (saving all the broth underneath the colander for your gravy!), OR lift steaks out one by one and place on wire racks over cookie sheets to catch the drips. Let cool and dry out for 30 minutes.


Start Your Frying:
Heat oil in skillet(s) on medium heat.

Mixing bowl #1:
1 cup flour
1 cup bread crumbs
½ teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon adobo seasoning (optional)
(you can also add other favorite seasonings: dried dill, cumin, pepper etc, depending on the flavors you like )

Mixing bowl #2:
4-5 beaten eggs

Dip each steak in eggs and then dredge in flour mixture.

Fry the steaks in skillet until golden brown on each side. Let cool.

When last of steaks are fried, slice one white onion and grill quickly in remaining oil.


Ways to Serve:
Casserole with brown gravy:
Bring 2 quarts of leftover broth to a rolling boil. Take 3 tablespoons of very cold water and mix thoroughly with 1-2 heaping spoons of cornstarch. Whisk starch mixture into broth and keep stirring until thickens. If necessary, add a cornstarch a second time to thicken.

When cooled, arrange in casserole dish, top with grilled onions and pour thickened brown gravy over everything.

Casserole with white gravy:
Take 1 jar of alfredo sauce and whisk with one equal jar of water.
When cooled, arrange in casserole dish, top with grilled onions and pour white gravy over everything.

Main dish :
Serve freshly fried steaks with mashed potatoes and gravy and steamed vegetables on the side.

Sandwiches:
Save leftover steaks (without gravy) for sandwiches with mayo and tomato.

OTHER OPTIONS:
Steaks can be frozen and thawed for later meals, or will keep several days in the refrigerator.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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by special request::WATERMELON ICEES

>> Monday, July 27, 2009

SARAH'S WATERMELON ICEES
1 watermelon
2 litres of ginger ale
1 melon baller
5-8 freezer bags
1 blender
1 hot day

Use a melon baller (mine looks like this>>>)
to make little balls out of a medium to large watermelon.

Place the little balls in 1 quart freezer bags, arranged so that there is only one layer of balls. This helps your freezer bags stack nice and flat in the freezer, and also makes it a cinch to get break the balls apart and get them out after freezing.

Let freeze at least overnight.

Pour 2 cups of ginger ale into blender. Add 6-8 frozen melon balls, blend until slushy. Keep adding ginger ale and melon balls until blender is half full with mixture.

Pour into serving pitcher.

Repeat blending process until you have desired amount.

NOTE: Three 1 quart freezer bags of melon balls (about one quarter of a medium watermelon), blended with 2 (2-litre) ginger ales,
will make enough ICEE to fill 8 water goblets.
If your guests will want seconds, make more! :)
© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on appropriate churchwear for kids (part 3)...

>> Friday, July 24, 2009

So....

As a result of these convictions (see two past posts, "on appropriate churchwear for kids, parts 1 & 2"), and a desire to make Sabbath as special and exciting as possible for the entire family, I've been browsing the internet for dressy baby and toddler boy's outfits.

Talk about sticker shock!

Do normal people really pay THAT much? I mean, hey, I love being well-dressed but I've got no embarrassment over finding my killer outfits at Goodwill or TJ Maxx!

When you're used to finding the occasional $800 BCBG silk women's suit for just $9.79, the idea of paying $140 for a infant dress suit that will be wearable for a window of perhaps 5-8 weeks is simply appalling.

(And we haven't even mentioned the fact that while there a oodles of beautiful little girl clothes available, it's practically impossible to find appealing and age-appropriate boys' clothes.)

So I've been browsing for affordable dressy boyswear. And since there's a chance that some of you might share my opinions - I decided to share a few links featuring less expensive yet beautiful outfits. Here's a few of my favorites:




And if you'd like to see websites themselves, check out these for a range of options for both boys' and girls' churchwear:

Got any other cool sites? Leave a comment!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on appropriate churchwear for kids (part 2)...

>> Thursday, July 23, 2009

If we really are willing to make our Sabbath dates with God special, then we might have to add a little weekly effort into our lifestyle routine. It's something the bible talks about, getting ready for Sabbath in advance so that our entire day is free to just EXIST in God's presence without any distraction.

For us, that means getting EVERYTHING ready before Sabbath begins. Cooking, house cleaning, laundry, clothing ironed and shoes shined, all secular magazines or distractions put away - and so on.

Sound like a drag? But it's NOT!

For some people, Sabbath is a day of boredom and lethargy. A day of "don't's". But it doesn't have to be.

Sabbath can be the best day of the week. The most exciting. The one day looked forward to with the most eager anticipation.

How?

Make it extraordinary and desirable on every level:

  • special favorite foods that you don't get on other days, prepared in advance so that the work is as little as possible.
  • sparkling clean house where everybody wants to hang out, because it smells nice and candles are glowing.
  • most exciting (spiritually appropriate) games or hobbies or activities, that are off-limits during the week so that sabbath is looked forward to.
  • spend time with family and friends that you can't connect with during the week.
  • and having very best clothes ready ahead of time, so that you feel your prettiest or best-looking of the entire week.
When you build up the anticipation, mentioning every day of the week that the Sabbath is coming soon, and reminding your kids regularly of all the wonderful things that will happen on God's special day ~ they can't help but buy into your enthusiasm.

And part of that is centered in how they feel about themselves. Looking their best plays into that. Knowing that they've worked hard to get ready for going to meet God on a beautiful date is a way to help them feel excited and thrilled about the romance of belonging to Jesus.

That's why I think babies and children should be dressed in extra special outfits every weekend for church. It elevates Sabbath to something tangibly more important than just a nice outing to a ball game, or any other regular day. It attaches something specially reverent to the day itself.

It helps in making Sabbath a day of beauty.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on appropriate churchwear for kids (part 1)...

>> Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm one of those minority Caucasian parents who actually believes children should have special clothes for church.

Lots of families from other cultures faithfully make it a priority to dress their kids for church in something different than what they wear all week ~ but few do so in my own culture.

We want our little son to have every opportunity to connect with growing up as a man in this society that demeans and insults manhood. To us, that means (among other things) that he needs to have clothes that make him feel that he can copy daddy when they get ready for church side by side in the mirror. It means we want to dress him in clothing we hope he'll identify himself with, clothing that aims higher than being a little gangster or a miniature athlete.

Especially when we're going to church to spend the day with God.

Call me weird.

But I'm convinced that part of the specialness of spending time with God is achieved in the way we prepare for it. (That's also why we still prepare for Sabbath the old-fashioned biblical way: food cooked, clothes ironed, house cleaned - all before the sun sets on Friday nights.) But I digress.

As a little girl, I sensed something tremendously precious about having my church dress ready, shoes shined, and everything laid out the night before. It made going to church special. Like getting ready for a banquet or preparing for a fancy dinner date ~ the more thought and effort put into the preparation, the more important the occasion.

And what can be more important than meeting with God?

Sure, there are those who decry making any effort for church at all. They make loud excuses like, "God accepts us just as we are," and, "Dressing up is just a facade to disguise how unholy we are during the rest of the week."

I agree, God does accept us as we are. And for some people, putting on a church suit probably IS like wearing a mask to cover the ugliness underneath.

But while God takes us as we are, he never EVER leaves us satisfied there. And since when do we need to be perfect on the inside before we're allowed to make a little effort on the outside?

I look at this controversial subject from a different angle. If my husband plans a date with me, I have two options:

  1. I can show up just like I spent the day (lately that might often mean having unwashed hair, and wearing ragged old comfy pajamas). He will still love me, because he's just great like that, but he'll get the distinct sense that his date-planning effort wasn't valuable enough to me to generate any effort of response on my part.
  2. Or I can plan my afternoon to complete my work on time, get a quick shower, put my hair up and improve my face a bit, select a nice outfit, and do my darndest to be ready on time. He loves me just the same as if I'd stayed in my pajamas, but now - his effort in making a reservation of time and location is rewarded and encouraged by my response. He made an effort, I made an effort. We both have a delightful dinner and he knows that I love him enough to make myself ready for him.
I see church the same way.

God loves us unconditionally either way. But the question isn't about how much God loves us. It's more about how much we love him. Do we care enough to make an effort? Or are we expecting him to just keep on loving us like he does, without any response or enthusiasm on our part?

After all, isn't the Sabbath supposed to be our weekly date with the Divine? So why wouldn't we want our kids to participate in the excitement?

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on advice received...

>> Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"words of wisdom for the new mommy"

At our baby shower, all who wished were given the opportunity to write words of wisdom and advice on little keepsake cards.

We got many beautiful nuggets, like:
"love unconditionally"
"spend quality time with the greatest Teacher of all"
"be consistent"
"play, play, and stay close"
"trust your parental instincts"
"be prepared for new things"
"allow laughter to diffuse anger"
"never give your baby, even temporarily, to someone who doesn't have children"
"sleep when baby does"
"treat your child with respect"
"write down the adorable things they say"

Thanks to all of you who took the time to write something from your heart!

And then, from the grandparents:
What a wonderful day for you both! Stay calm, Keep a quiet heart, Surrender to God always, See through God's eyes. I love you and Marius and our baby Tristan so much.
Mom ~ Grandma ~ Grandmother ~ Nana Grace ~ Nanny Kate
And:

New Proverbs:
Neglect not the advice and counsel of your parents. They have walked this path before you.

Be mindful to sometimes leave your little one with his grandparents, as they need to remain proficient in baby talk skills.
Granddaddy Matthews
Now, how can I find a way to frame those for posterity?

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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baby shower blessings...

>> Monday, July 20, 2009

Yesterday our church gave us a baby shower.

We were deeply grateful - seeing as we have very little baby supplies and zero baby furniture. The shower was lovely, the food delicious, the gifts thoughtful, and the day itself will be a beautiful memory for a very long time.

with my sister

with Marius's sister


church friends prayed the most beautiful blessing prayers over each of us and Munchkin

hubby and brother-in-law chugging chocolate milk for the prize in a very hilarious game!

the three of us


Last night we sat together on the big white rug in the floor of Munchkin's room, going through the gifts, reading the cards and making memories together.

We are so blessed.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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a perfect weekend...

It was a beautiful weekend.

On Friday afternoon, I got into the kitchen and spent three hours making Sabbath dinner - gluten steaks and gravy, mashed potatoes, steamed asparagus, frozen watermelon balls (to be blended into deLISH icees), etc...

All are recipes held in high esteem by Hubby - and it's been a while since I had both the energy and the olfactory fortitude to spend a few hours cooking! So I made the most of it...

Sabbath brought a lovely day - brilliant sunshine, low humidity and fresh temperatures - as well as a beautiful morning at church. After church, we enjoyed a fabulous lunch at our new house with mom and dad, my sister and her husband, and a friend. The boys went hiking, the girls went resting, and a good time was had by all.

Saturday night we feasted on corn ears, burgers, hot dogs, homemade fried peach pies and watermelon - out on the deck. And played games into the evening...

Sunday morning brought our baby shower - more on that in the next post - attended by family (my parents and sister and husband, Hubby's sister) and church friends.

All in all, it was a perfect weekend to remember. Can't think of any way to improve on it, not even one little smidge.

Ahhhhhhh.


© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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what's in a name?

>> Saturday, July 18, 2009

Some might say that you are what you make of yourself. Your name has nothing to do with it.

I disagree.

I've noticed that people with certain names tend to be somewhat alike. Not across the board, but often enough to make generalizations. Of course, there are always exceptions, but they're just that - exceptions.

Ever noticed that kids with fluffy, trendy names tend to match? People with exotic, or unique names often seem to follow a different beat in life? Those with strong or elegant names tend to follow suit in their attitudes and demeanor? I'm not going to pretend to know whether this comes from some innate response to the names' meanings, or from how we are treated as others react to hearing our name and making assumptions about us, or some blend of the two.

But I'm convinced that our names, and the meanings behind our names, influence the people we become whether we know those name meanings or not. I'm sure there's some research out there that might support this idea, although I haven't found it yet. (Which inspires me to go looking!)

As we considered the name for our firstborn son, we wanted something strong and masculine and godly. We were also limited by the uniqueness of our last name, Asaftei, and the need to choose names that are easily pronounceable for both English and Romanian speakers. Tough task!

We knew right away that this Munchkin was going to have a longer name than many children. We wanted to give him two names of our own choosing, in addition to honoring Hubby's late father and hyphenating our last name with my maiden name. (My family name dies with my generation unless we pass it to our children.)

After much research and discussion, we finally settled on:
Tristan Alexander Vasile Matthews-Asaftei

Meaning:
Tristan = Bold
Alexander = Defender of Mankind
Vasile = Royal
Matthews = Gift from God
Asaftei = no meaning

So this firstborn son has a big name, with big meaning. We already think of him as our Bold Defender, and our Royal Gift from God.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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family vision workshops

>> Friday, July 17, 2009

Going on two years ago, Hubby and I attended a Family Vision Workshop at the church where he is a pastor.

Our congregation places a strong focus on establishing biblical family values among our members, and reunifying biblical family leadership (fathers and mothers) to take charge of the family unit. So every year we host a Family Vision Workshop, presented by Greg Gunn and Mark Naylor.

The Family Vision Workshop is built around the premise that "God wants every family to experience the peace that comes from the harmony He provides when we know His purpose and are fulfilling it within our families. Great families don't happen by accident."

And in today's world of broken relationships, shattered marriages and absent family structure, Christians who want to keep their family together with strong relationships have got to stand up and take some aggressive action.

Family Vision suggests that, while everyone still has free choice and could choose to reject healthy values, Christian families CAN do things to strengthen the chance that their kids will choose to follow God.

It's about planning how you're going to leave a legacy of faithful God-worshipping for the next several generations. It's about getting out of "surviving until the end of the day" mode, and stepping back to make a strategy - a battle plan, if you will.

So in the workshop, each family creates a vision statement, a mission statement, and a set of core values that they feel describes what they want to establish in their home. And then they find a way to display those statements prominently for everyone to see.

It's like your family "coat of arms" or your clan's crest.

It's about making your kids feel excited to be a part of your family. 'Cause THIS family's going somewhere, we have a purpose and a goal. Letting kids know that we are flawed humans, yes, but we are an AWESOME family. It's about giving kids a sense of ownership and presence.

We loved the workshop. I went into it thinking, "Okay, I've read Adventist Home, and Child Guidance, and John Rosemond's books, and Gary Ezzo's books, and a whole slew of other love language books and womanhood books and wife books and husband books and just about every other family-help book - what could this POSSIBLY have to say that I haven't already heard?"

But it was pretty awesome. Each couple/family has exercises to discover their family mission and vision statements. It's harder than you think!

If you haven't heard of the Family Vision ministry, I'd check 'em out. Go to: http://www.familyvisionnow.com/. Maybe bring them to your church. Or if you live in the Atlanta area, you could come to ours next year.

You won't regret it!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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those women I used to make fun of...

>> Thursday, July 16, 2009

I used to really think some women were idiots.

You know the kind - where the smallest thing happens and they just turn into helpless, defenseless creatures that must be waited upon hand and foot.

I thought they were dumb.

I was never EVER going to be helpless. I could change my own oil, fix a flat tire, drive a stick shift, cook a scrumptious dinner, sew my own clothes, change my own light bulbs and tie a mean Trucker's Slipknot.

No way was anything, including pregnancy, going to transform me into a waddling, bed-ridden, damsel in distress who needed things lifted/carried/remembered or anything else.

I had no sympathy for people who started sentences only to drop off slack-jawed halfway through. No compassion for those who snapped their fingers in hopes of sparking a memory of that name or telephone number that just mentally vanished.

And zero patience for anyone who moved slower, thought clumsier, functioned with less self-discipline or somehow just couldn't keep up.

I mean, I tried to be polite about it and all... But deep down inside, those people drove me batty.

Then I got pregnant. The brain that once stored dozens of faces, names, telephone numbers, email addresses? The body that once trotted to the gym several days a week for grueling one-hour workouts?

Brain = bowl of mushy oatmeal. Some days with green fuzzies growing on top.

Body = three-toed jungle sloth. Can't bend over without grabbing onto something. Must take time to carry the lightest loads.

Ridiculous.

Is this really me? Oh yeah baby.

Funny how life has ways of turning our arrogance on its ear and hitting the spin cycle. I no longer laugh at those who can't keep up with my old pace. Oh right, that's cause I can't keep up with my old self these days.

For those of you who haven't been pregnant yet, and think I'm just whining pointlessly - you just wait. I always told myself that I would just mind-over-matter and push right through anything my body threw at me. I wouldn't give in to being sick. I wouldn't go all mushy and helpless.

But you really don't know how your body's going to react until you're in the middle. You might think you can keep up the pace, but then maybe you won't. You might think you can keep working right up until the baby's born, but you might draw the lucky bedrest card.

If I believed in karma, I'd say karma's having a good laugh.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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are you just not the mothering type?

>> Wednesday, July 15, 2009

On our next anniversary, we'll celebrate seven years of marriage. The last four years have included not only active church involvement, domestic travel for speaking engagements, and international travel for my work in training pastors for evangelism.

As a result, I often field questions like "What is your position on women's ordination?" and "How do you juggle being a local pastor's wife with three or more months of international travel each year?"

And of course, there's the inevitable: "When are you guys going to have kids? Or are you just not the mothering type?"

I learned quickly that nobody particularly wanted the real answer. They just wanted to probe. To be a little nosy. How will she react? Is she feminine or feminist?

So my standard answer became, "Well, it just hasn't happened for us yet." At which point people either nodded and moved on, or launched into detailed personal stories about all the other people they knew who were experiencing infertility, too. Which, of course, wasn't exactly what I meant. But anyway...

The real answer?

I'm definitely the mothering type. But there's no way I was going to become a mother before I could be the kind of parent that I think God calls today's mothers to be.

We weren't ready yet. We believe that whenever possible, it's best to have a marriage before adding a family. We wanted time to travel and explore the world together. We spent the first 4.5 years sharing our home with always at least one member of extended family. We wanted some time alone together after the last family members moved out.

And we have very distinct and definite ideas about the kind of home we want to create for our children.

Those ideas do not include daycare, absentee parenting, or using the TV as a babysitter. And we plan to do weird, old-fashioned things that lots of people think are unusual these days - like breast-feeding, gardening, homeschooling, and so on.

None of which are exactly compatible with Mommy jetting off to the UK or Australia or Russia for 2 to 5 weeks at a time.

Hence, no kids. Doesn't mean mommy won't do some work at home or earn some money on the side or stay involved in ministry and other contributions - after all, she has at least a decade left of paying off the loans for her master's degree!

Now, while the news about Munchkin #1 was a bit of a surprise - it did come at a time when the house was empty of relatives, the cars and credit cards were paid off, and Mommy's work was flexible - at least until September, when she'll be back on the job hunt - but we digress.

So why didn't we have kids for so long? Because we wanted to give them the kind of home life that we believe God has called us to provide. And until that time came, we were willing to wait.


© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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book review: RAISING A MODERN-DAY KNIGHT

>> Tuesday, July 14, 2009

RAISING A MODERN-DAY KNIGHT: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood
by Robert Lewis

This book begins by establishing the dismal reality of masculinity in today's Western society. Lewis describes the aching void in the hearts of men who grew up without fathers, without guidance into manhood, and who were left to navigate the world's expectations of them without support or encouragement from wise older men.

He explains the deep core need that every boy has to be recognized and validated by his father, and how fathers often curse their sons with lifetime fears by withholding from them a working definition of masculinity. Boys are longing to know: what does a man look like? how does a man act? when do I become a man? will I know when I am no longer a boy? how?

And our society has no structures to provide answers to these questions. Other, often more primitive, societies have initiation rites, coming of age celebrations, even brutal rituals that mark a boy's passage into manhood. From that day on he knows that he must act like a man, that he is no longer a child. But our culture boasts none of these.

Lewis delves into history to explore the medieval age of knighthood and compares the process of training for knighthood to a possible answer for this manhood vacuum. Being a knight provided a man with three things:

  1. a vision for manhood
  2. a code of conduct
  3. a transcendant cause.
Lewis asserts that every boy and man today desperately need the same three things, if they are to fully blossom in their masculinity. He contrasts the way that Adam in the Garden of Eden rejected his vision, violated God's code of conduct, and shrank away from his cause - with the way that Jesus Christ, the biblical 2nd Adam, fulfilled all three.

Then Lewis outlines the vital importance of using ceremony to mark milestones in a young boy's life as he progresses through the stages of boyhood toward becoming a man, until a final ceremony where the respect of fellow manhood is bestowed on him by his father and other mature men in his life.

Filled with stories, illustrations, scriptural foundation, and practical ideas for ceremonies and celebrations - Raising a Modern-Day Knight is a must-read for any parent with a son.

We're handing it to my dad next, as the only living grandfather that Munchkin will know. He's promised to read it, so that he can join Hubby in a united effort to present concepts of manhood once Munchkin arrives. After that, we're planning to pass it to my sister's husband - as the only Uncle in the family so far - so that he can join in the community of men surrounding Munchkin's arrival.

While Lewis makes many profound statements throughout the book, two stood out to me with incredible clarity:
  1. "Real manhood in a son never comes by accident." (p 156)
  2. "The Decree proclaims an immovable standard that each generation must never forget: Only the sons of knights become knights!" (p 162)
Thank you God, for letting me marry a man who has discovered his own Knighthood!

If you've got a son - I hope you go get this book! You won't regret it.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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when it comes to raising a son...

>> Monday, July 13, 2009

I was raised in a family of 2 girls. My mom was raised in a family of 10 girls. (No, that's not a typo.) The idea of raising a daughter felt natural. Not that I didn't want a boy (I kind of secretly did), but just that I couldn't picture myself as the mother of a son. At the same time, I had this strong feeling that this baby was male.

Oddly, when the ultrasound confirmed quite clearly that "IT'S A BOY!", I was thrilled. As an oldest child, I'd always longed for an older brother. Hubby, of course, could hardly keep the volume down as he danced around the doctor's office, "I'm gonna have a son! I'm gonna have a son!" Romanian culture places an almost biblical value on starting a family with a son. The nurses just watched him and chuckled at his glee.

Then I started thinking in earnest about the actual process of raising a son in today's world. You see, we don't just want to raise a nice boy. We want to create a family atmosphere that will encourage Munchkin to be a man of God. A leader. A strong and masculine individual who knows his calling and isn't terrified of his place in the world. A Moses, or a Joseph, or an Elijah.

We chose his name after months of sorting through lists of origins and meanings. We wanted him to know from the start that he is a son of God, with a beautiful life purpose. (Something far more important than making his momma downright miserable for 9 months straight before he was born!)

We know so many wonderful families raising beautiful daughters to love Jesus. Only a few of them have sons, too. There is such a vacuum of godly men in today's Western society that it's daunting to think about raising boys into Christian manhood. Scary, even.

So my first book review (see next post) is going to be on our latest read. It has taken the ideas we already had and crystallized them into something tangible. Can't wait to share it with you!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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to those of you...

>> Sunday, July 12, 2009

... who just adore being pregnant:

I'm really happy for you.

My mom never had a day of morning sickness with me. I have good friend who says that if her belly hadn't been growing, she'd never have known she was pregnant. No nausea, no extreme exhaustion. No overwhelming hormonal fluctuations.

But then I've met dozens of women who had pregnancies like mine - or worse. I know one OB-GYN doctor who was on bedrest with an IV drip for nourishment for the entire length of her pregnancies. I've talked to women who threw up several times a day every day for months on end, lost 10 or 20 or 30 pounds from their normal weight, and couldn't eat any regular food.

Some women can't drink plain water without vomiting (I'm one of those). Then the challenges of hydration cause other complications because they're left with the choices of dairy, high calorie juices, or carbonated sugary sodas - none of which are ideal sources of liquid.

And then there are those who got gorgeous hair, flawless skin and just beamed their way through the entire experience. I'm happy for you...

I'll find my comfort in other places - like the fact that my doctor's mantra is that the sicker you are during the pregnancy, the healthier the baby is likely to be. :)

And hey, for the past little while, it has been pretty good. I think I got two whole weeks of that famed 2nd trimester energy spurt.

Thank you, God, for letting that energy come during the week I had to move our entire household while my husband was out of the country - that was a tremendous blessing!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on reading and discovery...

>> Saturday, July 11, 2009

A few weeks ago I was browsing amazon.com for something - can't remember what - and ran across a list of parenting books that caught my eye.

In our desire to spend the months of pregnancy in purposeful preparation for Munchkin's arrival, Hubby and I had already sat down and read together through Adventist Home, and Child Guidance, (both by the author Ellen White and I highly recommend them). I'll add book reviews on those two later.

But it was time for a new booklist to keep us reading and talking. I'm fortunate to have married a man who actually is capable and willing (most of the time) to communicate articulately about feelings, thoughts, and family plans. It's an incredible blessing that I know many women long for, and I don't take it lightly.

We don't want to be accidental parents. The kind who just bumble through family life with no purpose or plan. (Read this post for the Family Vision we created 2 years ago at a Family Vision Planning Workshop.)

That doesn't mean we aren't aware that no parent is perfect. We are destined to make mistakes. Guaranteed. But we'd like to think that there's some chance we can limit our mistakes to those rooted in good intentions rather than idiocy.

So we do a lot of reading together. And we talk about it, formulating concepts and ideas and plans in (attempted) unity.

Hence, the upcoming book reviews. If you've read these books, too - tell me what you thought of them. If you go and buy a book because of one of my reviews, I'd love to know your reaction.

And no, I don't get commissions from Amazon.com. (Although, hmmm, I wonder if that's possible?)

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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setting the record straight...

It seems that some readers might be in confusion about the reason for this blog, and the motives behind post subjects.

Just for the record, I can't wait to meet my son. Doesn't mean I've got to love being pregnant.

For your information, I'd hardly been sick a day in my life until I got unexpectedly pregnant. Almost 5 months of bed rest, 24-hour a day nausea, miscarriage scares and other complications, facial psoriasis and other skin anomalies - all combine to make this once very active blogger feel quite discouraged at times.

When you're a 2-meals-and-3-litres-of-water-a-day, 6-days-a-week at the gym and 3-to-4 months of international travel a year kind of girl, several months in bed with no social interaction, no energy, gnawing hunger every 1.5 hours, and total inability to open a refrigerator to get your own snacks without heaving over the sink from the food smells - yeah, it can wreak havoc on your perspective.

Of course, I could blog about the number of times I feel Munchkin kick every single day.

Or write rapturous posts about the moments I stand randomly in the kitchen daydreaming about what my son will look like. Will he have curly black hair like his daddy? Green eyes like his grandaddy? Olive skin or fair?

Or I could drone on about the "magical experience" of embracing all the new curves (whether I wanted them or not)...

Or maybe I should fill this blog with posts about how I'm perfectly certain that my child will be the cutest, smartest, most adorable creature in the world.

But honestly, who wants to read that? There are thousands of mommyblogs out there, where women flood pages of cyberspace with nearly-identical details about their daily lives. And if you're blogging to keep distant family and friends updated with photos and stories, then - perfect! Good for you. Stick with your genre.

This blog isn't about that.

I'm a writer. This blog has a niche. That niche is not aiming for magical, sappy, or daily family updates. It's about finding humor - or the lack of it - in the changes that come to an international career woman while making the transition to mother. It isn't about sugar-coating, or glossing over, or making myself sound heroic or joyful when I'm actually scared and depressed.

It's about being real. About eagerly anticipating a lifetime acquaintance with this new human being growing inside me, and not pretending to necessarily love the process of getting there.

So, dear readers, keep the comments flowing. They inspire me. They remind me of things I might ought to blog about.

And they definitely make the blog more interesting! Who wants a boring blog, anyway?

Not this chick.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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thanks! (uhhh, I think?)

I feel like a whale this week. Ankles started swelling. Legs feel like tree trunks. And we've already covered the basketball stomach part (read yesterday's post if you're still in the dark).

It's 25 weeks now, and I've gained 22 pounds. People are so nice to say that I don't look like I've put on any weight - minus the baby bump, of course.

In fact, they keep giving me really nice compliments. Like:
"Your tummy is soooo cute!"
"Your baby bump is really starting to show now, huh?"
"Awww, look at you, have you gained any weight at all?"
"Your tummy is sooooo TINY!"

Thanks people, that feels good to hear!

Inevitably, the next question is:
"So how far along are you now?"

Answer: "6 months."

Response: "Oh wow. I never got that big until between 8 and 8.5 months along!"

Nice. Way to cancel out all the nice comments preceding. I'm just so thrilled to know that I look so tiny, that you can't tell I've gained a pound, and THAT YOU WERE THIS BIG 10 WEEKS FROM NOW!!!!!

I may feel like a whale now, but apparently, I'm headed for blimp status.

Whoopeee.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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math, math, go away...

>> Friday, July 10, 2009

Tomorrow marks the end of 24 weeks of pregnancy. Six whole months of nausea, dizziness, and dermatological variances are behind us.

Somebody made the meant-to-be encouraging comment the other day that "there's only three more months to go!"

Um, did you all fail 2nd grade math? Forty weeks does not equal 9 months. On anybody's calculator.

And today it really hit me as I stared in the mirror at the basketball that used to be my stomach. You know, the stomach that (almost) had a six-pack that I always whined about not being flat or toned enough. Yeah, that one.

You mean I have FOUR MORE MONTHS to grow? (Okay, technically it's 3.7 months, but what if he comes late?)

FOUR MONTHS BIGGER!!?!!

I sat down and cried. Math always makes things worse.

I hate math.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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good days and... the other kind...

>> Thursday, July 9, 2009

Some days are lots of fun.

Others? Well, I guess the others exist so that we know how much fun we're having on the good days.

Today is one of those others.

Two weeks ago I thought my belly was cute. Last week it started to feel like it was hanging out in space and pulling my entire body out of joint.

This week? You may not even wanna ask.

I went and bought a belly brace two days ago. It helps. Problem is, Munchkin doesn't seem to like having any outer restraint. When I even put my hand on my belly he kicks up a storm. So with the brace it's a choice between

  • A) feeling like my stomach is in another zip code
  • B) getting bruised ribs from the inside out
Yay for choices.

It's one of those days where everything seems horrifying. Tears float just out of sight. There is no comfortable position, standing, sitting, or lying down. And there's only 113 days left to go.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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pregnancy cravings...

>> Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Everybody keeps asking if I've had any cravings yet.

I keep saying, "Can't think of any!"

But then I realized that I've been eating an awful lot of blackberries lately. And a lot of yogurt ('course, that started way back when I first got braces, so maybe yogurt doesn't count).

And I can drink fresh-squeezed lime juice straight up. No water. No suger. YUM! Does that mean something's wonky with my ph balance? Nah, who cares.

And cold chocolate almond milk always hits the spot. As does the Marburger's brand of super thick, tangy buttermilk.

So maybe those are my cravings. I wonder if Munchkin will like blackberries and limes?


© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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