CURWHIBBLES::

a few Christmas quotes...

2010-12-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. ~W.J. Cameron

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. ~Richard Lamm

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. ~Author Unknown

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown

Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. ~Author Unknown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. ~John Andrew Holmes

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. ~Robert Kirby

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. ~P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

lessons about loss (on Christmas Eve)

2010-12-24T06:38:00.000-08:00

This year, I've learned a lot about loss. About how inept most people are at offering comfort. And how we shrink from sharing another's grief.

In the summer, my sister lost a child.

The thing is, that baby wasn't born yet. It was supposed to be born today. A Christmas Eve gift. So, since people never saw it in person, they tend to brush off the grief with insensitive comments like "Just be glad it didn't happen later in the pregnancy!" or "You're young, you have plenty of time to try again."

And so, while my sister was going through the very natural stages of grief, anger, guilt, denial (not necessarily in that order), people who knew what had happened couldn't seem to figure out why she hadn't "bounced back yet". Or why she couldn't just "snap out of it" and get back to life as usual.

The crazy thing is, before this happened I'd probably have said many of the same well-intentioned things. All the pat phrases that offer zero empathy and sometimes border on the insulting. Empty words that show absolutely no intention of entering into that person's grief. And I wouldn't have known the difference.

I've had other friends who've lost babies. I'm ashamed to say that I've never engaged with them in their loss. Like so many, I was wrapped up in the whirlwind of my own life and I just assumed that when the public signs of sadness disappeared, the private grief must be finished too.

I know better now.

Over the past months, I've watched my sister do what every young should-have-been-mother does. She kept her tears behind closed doors. She pushed through the sleepless nights. She put on a brave face to the world, goofing around and cracking her hilarious signature sarcastic comments to make others laugh. She didn't advertise the fact that some days she fought panic attacks when out shopping and it seemed like every other woman was carrying a cute little baby. She went to work every day, started a second degree, bought a cute little dog.

Casual observers would never guess the ache she only expressed in private. But that's because, as advanced and open-minded as our Western culture may be on many things, it's still not okay to publicly grieve the loss of an unborn child. We're not comfortable with that. We shrink from the implications.

And so those who have lost, grieve in silence.

If there was a coffin, we would have a funeral. Friends and family would travel at any cost to be there for the infant's parents. To offer comfort, solace, hugs, even shared tears. But when there is no coffin, we don't know what to do. Don't know what to say.

Friends disappear, either giving well-meaning "space" or out of ignorant disregard. Family isn't guaranteed to get it, either. Those in grief feel isolated and alone when they most need caring attention. And it isn't a time when they should have to demand that comfort. It should be freely offered.

Today, on Christmas Eve, I should have been at the hospital with my sister. I should have been giving that tiny baby its first bath (that's what she did when my son was born). We should have been rejoicing over the miracle of life, and introducing Tristan to his first first-cousin. And I'm sure, another year, that will all happen. But it won't be this year. It won't be this baby.

I've learned a lot about loss this year. For that loss, today I share my sister's sadness and rejoice in hope that this new year will bring healing.

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

on sabbath bags...

2010-11-02T01:14:00.000-07:00

Just recently, I was (admittedly) bragging to my dad about Little Dude's recent success in making it through church without any disruptive behavior.

"Have you made him a sabbath bag yet?" Grandpa asked.

Nope. Hadn't even occurred to me. Which is kind of sad, since I grew up having one. Yeah, my memory ain't what it used to me. And yes, I know I'm not old enough to really milk that excuse... I'm using it anyway.

Never heard of the idea? It's actually really simple.

A sabbath bag, is a special bag filled with quiet and non-disruptive toys, that you only get to play with on sabbath - or on whatever day your family goes to church. These are perhaps some of your kids' very favorite toys, made all the more special because they only come out once a week - so their magic lasts a little longer.

The contents should be age-appropriate, non-messy, and preferably Bible- or nature-related instead of overtly secular (at least that's what we'd choose). Felt-books, miniature coloring books with non-staining colors (like the no mess markers here), sticker/cling sets, a favorite stuffed animal, favorite teething ring, special heavy-duty cardboard book - all would make great contents.

The beauty of having a Sabbath Bag for each child is that you don't have to stuff the diaper bag full of extras each weekend. Just keep each child's bag hanging in the coat closet, ready to grab on the way out. Bring it back after church, hang it up, and grab it next week.

I'm going to start planning what goes into Little Dude's this week. Hmmm, where can I find a really cute boy bag?

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

on church training strategy for toddlers...

2010-10-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Almost exactly 6 months ago, I wrote a post here about giving kids the gift of learning how to sit still. Some readers heartily agreed, others thought the idea outrageous. Some assumed that I must just have an unusually calm baby. Others emphatically expressed that my naive expectations would change as soon as my kid grew old enough to motor himself around.

So, now that Little Dude has celebrated his first birthday and is a fully energetic, enthusiastic, into-everything-every-second-of-the-day little boy... it's time for an update on the subject.

I'll admit, until about 8.5 months old, Little Dude was typically an angel whenever we were out and about - including church. People can think what they like, but we largely attributed that to keeping him well-rested, fed on time, and lots of snuggling and reassuring time with mommy and daddy.

Then he learned to crawl.

Naps went out the window... for several weeks. Our perfect sleeper was suddenly a tyrant. It took nearly two months to get his naps back on track once he'd discovered the joys of tooling around in his crib instead of lying down. Mommy was going crazy. Which made Daddy a little crazy by proxy.

Church suffered the same fate. From 8.5 to 10.5 months, Little Dude and I spent most of every sermon trotting back and forth from our pew to the outside. He wouldn't sit. He wouldn't stand. He wouldn't play with his toys. And he stopped napping during the service. I'm a huge believer that good sleep makes happy kids. So I'm certain part of the problem was the poor little guy's exhaustion from fighting his naps all week long.

At this point, lots of parents give up totally, and just start taking their kids home before church is over. Or they spend the next three years in the Parent's Room, starving for some spiritual food while their kids run around.

If this is you, please don't go leaving anonymous hating comments. I'm not writing this post in judgment to all the parents who make that choice. I'm just sharing what we've chosen to do. Your kids are your kids, I respect your right to give up your next several years of adult church if that's what you want to do. Please respect our right to teach our kids to sit in church without being disruptive. (Perhaps I'll share the reasoning for this choice in another post - comment below if you'd like to know why.)

Back to the update...

Then we found out about Baby Bumblebee. While I'd been halfheartedly realizing I was going to have to do something to change the banshee-in-church trend, I suddenly had some real motivation. In just a few months, I am going to have TWO kids with me in church. I'm going to be back and forth from the lounge area for breastfeeding and splurty diaper changes. I'm going to have an itty-bitty one that needs holding, and a strapping 17-month-old who'll be too young to command himself and too big to always share mama's lap.

I have exactly 6 months to get Little Dude ready for this life-changing reality.

So, about three weeks ago, we started "church training" every day at home. I don't think it's fair to any little kid, no matter their age, to expect them to pleasantly do something once a week without giving them a chance to practice ahead of time. Actually, we see that as the philosophical difference between discipline and training. (Again, material for another post...) As much as possible, we'd rather train than discipline.

We began practicing how to sit still every day at home. We started by sitting Little Dude on our laps, gently but firmly, and telling him that we were going to "sit still" now. The first time, he screamed and kicked and hollered for about 45 minutes. Since it was a training session, we anticipated this reaction. That made it pretty easy to stay calm and pleasant. No getting mad. No irritated parental commands. Just quietly and repetitively insisting that "We are going to sit still until Mommy/Daddy says you can go play."

By the time he quit pitching a fit and realized we meant what we said, we only kept him sitting there for perhaps 1 minute. The point was to get him to cooperate and introduce him to the idea. Nothing more.

The next day, around the same time, we repeated the training. Again, calmly and gently, just making sure we didn't quit before he had decided to cooperate with the concept. More outlasting him than anything else. This time, it only took about 25 or 30 minutes before he quieted down. And we kept him there, talking and praising him for 2 or 3 minutes this time.

For a week, we did this every day. Each day his fighting time got shorter, and each day we lengthened the sitting still time after he calmed down, adding a couple extra minutes a day.

After a few days, we got the bright idea to put some stories on his iPod and play them while had to sit still. After all, church is a lot about listening, so having something to listen to helped distract him without entertaining him. The point is to help him be able to sit still even when there isn't something to watch or do.

I should add here, that we don't feel we're setting unrealistic expectations. We don't expect him to sit perfectly still for the entire church service at age 1. We know he's a normal, wiggly, energetic out-going little boy. What we DO want is for him to be able to make it through an entire service without being disruptive. For us, that means that much of the time we want him to be capable of sitting quietly, and the rest of the time he can stand by the pew or play on a blanket at my feet and entertain himself with toys from his Sabbath Bag (more on that in a later post... really racking up the "later posts" in this one!)

That first weekend however, he was a total mess in church. It was his worst series of outbursts yet. I wondered why I was even bothering. I was tense and frustrated, he was tense and irritable. It would be so much EASIER to just take him out and let him happily do his thing. But we decided not to give up just yet.

The second week, we altered the strategy a bit. Instead of having him sit on our laps, we sat him beside us each day. (Part of the reason is because I'm rapidly growing outward, and there won't be much comfortable lap room pretty soon.) Then I got the brilliant idea to put him in his Bumbo seat. Just enough confinement to remind him that he's got to be still, not so much that he's overly restricted. AND, a way to keep some consistency in the whole sitting still experience - since we can take the seat with us to church.

We started with sitting in his seat for 5 minutes after he quit fussing about it. In a couple days, he realized this was getting to be normal, and the fussing began to disappear. Then we lengthened it to 10 minutes, then 12 minutes, etc. Each time we sweetly but firmly told him that he "had to sit still for a little bit, until Mommy says you can go play".

The second weekend, he lasted until the last 5 minutes of the sermon without being disruptive. No, he didn't sit still the whole time - but I didn't expect him to. He probably made it about 25 minutes sitting. Then he played on his blanket on the floor and wiggled around and drank his milk. But - no screaming, fussing, or cranky outbursts. Yay for progress.

The third week, we kept the training up almost every day. (I'll admit, we missed a couple days.) On Friday though, he sat on the floor in his little seat without me next to him and played with his favorite animal and a book. While I picked up and cleaned up and folded laundry in the same room.

For FORTY-FIVE minutes.

Twice he crawled out of his seat before I'd told him he could go play, and both times I put him back in the seat, telling him that he didn't have permission to play yet, and he had to wait until mommy said he could go. He whimpered a bit and then gave in.

This past weekend, he made it through the entire church service. We didn't have to get up and leave even once. I'm especially proud of him because it was a super long service at the Romanian church. Something like 2 hours long instead of one. And sure, he wiggled around and cycled more than once through the half dozen "quiet toys" I'd packed for him to play with one by one. But he made it!

I'm glad I didn't give up after that first hellish weekend!

We're going to keep on practicing at home for a while longer, just to make sure he's really got it down. And I'm sure there'll be weekends that relapse into old habits. But we've seen enough progress to make us believers in the process.

You don't have to beat a child, or bribe them, or plead with them to get results. Just be consistent. No means no. Yes means yes. Sit still means sit still. Mostly, I think, it takes being just stubborn enough and just patient enough to stick to your parental expectations.

In the meantime, you'll be giving them the gift of knowing where their boundaries start and stop. And that you can be trusted to mean what you say. The security that brings to their world is huge.

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

before you pop...

2010-10-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

I hate the fat phase.

Not that all of pregnancy doesn't feel like a fat phase... But you know what I'm talking about. Those weeks where your old clothes bind and pinch in all the wrong places, but you're not yet big enough for hideous maternity wear.

You feel huge - not huge like you know you're going to get - but still huge, but people can't tell you're pregnant yet.

Instead, they just kind of wonder if you've been eating too much pizza lately.

Yesterday I went to buy a few little pumpkins. There's a church down the street that sells pumpkins every year as a massive mission trip fundraiser. And the pumpkins were cheaper there than anywhere else. I'm going to use them as a party craft for all the adults coming to Little Man's 1st birthday celebration this weekend.

So I'm standing there in the brisk fall air, swallowing down nausea, picking out cute pumpkins from a very friendly church lady. We got past the purpose of buying them (to entertain the grownups at a 1 year old's party), and laughed about how the birthday boy will never remember it anyway.

I started coughing to cover a retching heave. Nice. Very nice.

And, just like with so many other strangers I meet, I felt obligated to explain. In just a few more weeks, no one will need explanations, unless of course they're under 6 years old and still slightly confused on how to tell if "that lady is fat or just having a baby?"

But for now, people can't tell. I'm just thicker than normal. And since they don't know me, they don't know the difference. I'm not sure why I feel like they need to know. I'm never going to see them again.

Once you pop, the discomfort begins. As though nausea isn't discomfort enough already. But the heaviness, the backaches, the hip aches... But I kind of wish it would just happen already. No more explanations necessary.

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

Marius is in trouble...

2010-10-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

... 'cause we already know Tristan is just like him! Except perhaps with a combination of my side's stubbornness thrown in for good measure...

So baby, this is dedicated to you... Mmm hmmm, you know I love you!

(Just replace "football" with "soccer", and it'll be right on target! :)

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

why good mom friends are in limited supply...

2010-10-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

WARNING: I didn't make this - there's one bad word to close your ears to. If this (or something like it) has ever happened to you, leave a comment with your funny story!

Share

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

cataloguing differences...

2010-10-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

They say "every pregnancy is different!" Mostly they mean to be encouraging. 'Cause, you know, they want me to know that just because last time I was sick the whole time and suffered prenatal depression, doesn't mean it'll happen again.

But different doesn't necessarily mean better. It can also mean... well, the opposite.

Last time: I was sick with all-day nausea for 8.5 months.
This time: It's worse. (But then maybe it won't last quite so long? Hey, a girl can hope...)

Last time: I had to graze on food every 45 minutes to an hour to help control nausea.
This time: I can hardly eat at all. On the upside, by this point last time I'd gained 10 pounds, this time I've only gained two. I take small comforts where I can get them!

Last time: I got to lie in bed or crash on the couch during rough days.
This time: Mr Man needs meals, diapers, naps, baths, songs, you know... all that crucial stuff in a baby's day. So yeah, no couch-napping.

Last time: I got stubborn rashy, oozing eczema patches on my face for the whole pregnancy.
This time: The patch is on the opposite side of my mouth. Turned up weeks before the pregnancy test showed positive.

Last time: Insomnia. For months on end.
This time: Insomnia. But I've discovered that if I jet off to bed immediately after Mr Man goes down (sometime right around the totally-grandma hour of 7:30 PM), and try to fall asleep by 8:30 or so, I can skip the "second wind" that keeps me staring at a black ceiling into the wee hours. Yay for discoveries!

Last time: I had an awesomely helpful husband who set a day's worth of snacks out on the counter since being in the same room with the refrigerator door open was enough to send me hurling.
This time: I still have an awesomely helpful husband. Except now his energy is most kindly spent in changing nasty diapers (whenever he is home), to keep me from adding to each diaper's mess.

Last time: I thought the pregnancy would never end.
This time: Mr Man keeps me busy enough that somedays I forget I'm pregnant at all and just wonder if this is perennial stomach flu.

Last time: I didn't have many friends who were moms. Or who were pregnant. I felt utterly, totally alone in the journey most of the time.
This time: I've got some really incredible friends. Some of them are right in the middle of it with me, and instead of feeling isolated - I've got a small but fabulous network of like-minded moms. Heather, Nabila, Ramona, Louana, Iveth, Lianro, Claudette, Celeste, Christine - you are all awesome! I'm so glad to know each of you, and your amazing kids!

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

keeping track...

2010-10-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

So I have this app from BabyCenter that tells me what's going on every day of this pregnancy. It gives me checklists of things to do, and has links to interesting resources sites. And about once a week it'll show me a video about how babies grow, or what epidurals look like, or how it feels to have an unmedicated birth.

Yes, I skip the gory ones. I don't grasp the fascination with freaking moms-to-be out over what's coming. Besides, I've been there, done this. I have a good enough mental picture already.

But it also keeps urging me to regularly write down pregnancy memories. Which I keep forgetting to do.

I think that's kind of their point. What's not written down, will be forgotten. Even the act of writing it down. Yes, I know I'm going in a circle. I don't really care.

Last time, I was pretty good at writing stuff down. If you read this blog last year, you already know that. I vented right here. A lot. I think it was one of the threads that kept me clinging to sanity during the whole thing.

This time, well. I have an 11-month old to keep up with. He sort of changes things. And I've got work to do. If you've got kids, you know what I mean. Sitting down to journal superfluous stuff gets shoved to the bottom of my priority list.

But the weeks keep slipping away. The first trimester is almost over. And this is pretty much my first post about it.

I'm going to try and do this more often. You know, so I can accurately remember the misery. Just in case my forgetter gets so good after this one comes along that I lose my sanity and consider signing up for a third round.

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

TRAILER: The Child - America's Battle for the Next Generation

2010-10-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

Many parents, including us, are deeply aware of the need to add a Parental Rights Amendment to the United States Constitution. Check out this trailer:

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

the puking ain't in vain...

2010-10-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

Crissy, my former college roommate, recently shared some scientific studies about morning sickness.

Apparently, a new Canadian study has found that children of moms who suffer lots of vomiting and nausea are born with higher IQs.

I'm taking that as a hint that all this retching and heaving is not a waste. 'Cause at this rate, both my kids are going to be geniuses on a level to make Einstein feel dumb.

Somehow, in the moment, it still doesn't make puking any more fun.

Sigh.

© Sarah K Asaftei, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

a little bit of news...

2010-09-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

pay attention to the shirt....

it's important...

vote! vote! vote!

2010-08-08T11:17:00.001-07:00

Vote for me in this contest!

Contest details

summer challenge

2010-06-07T06:11:00.001-07:00

I came across this challenge and decided that I'm doing it! Want to join me in making our husbands feel loved and amazing this summer?

There's a challenge for each week from June 7th to August 9th. Watch the video below, and if you decide to join, you can link up on Courtney's page and post the Challenge button on your own blog.

Leave a comment if you're going to join!

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

chik'n teriyaki lettuce wraps*...

2010-05-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

Wraps

1-2 heads of Bibb lettuce (we like the Living Lettuce from Costco)
2 small cucumbers cut into matchsticks
2 small carrots cut into matchsticks
1 avocado cut into slivers
chow mein noodles
chik'n strips, lightly sauteed (we like the ones from Morningstar Farms)

Teriyaki Sauce
1 c      cold Water
1/4 c   soy sauce
3 t      brown sugar
1        garlic clove minced (or 1 T minced garlic from a jar)

Bring sauce ingredients to a boil. Then add 1/4 c very cold water stirred with 2 tsp cornstarch.
(Makes 1 cereal bowl of teriyaki sauce.)

Use the lettuce leaves like you would a burrito or soft taco shell. Add pinches of the ingredients into your leaf and drizzle sauce on top. Then roll the leaf closed and enjoy!

*credit goes to Valerie Dahlberg for passing on this great summer recipe :)

Share

children's medications recall...

2010-05-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up to all the other mums and dads...

A number of Tylenol and Motrin liquid medications for babies and children have been recalled. Read HERE about the reasons why, and to get the list of recalled medicines.

book review::"changing your child's heart"

2010-05-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Changing Your Child's Heart

by Steve Sherbondy

Lately I've been expanding my parenting enrichment reading to include books beyond the immediate. Breastfeeding, sleep training and baby food recipes are all vital subjects, but I want to do more than just survive the present.

It's so easy to be caught parenting without a plan. To just be getting through the day. I won't deny that I find that happening more often than I'd like. But it isn't my goal as a godly mother to just "survive". The Hubby and I both share the desire to cultivate a home atmosphere that encourages spiritual, emotional and social "thriving".

The thing is, parenting with a plan is a whole LOT of work. It means you've got to be thinking ahead to the next stage when the current stage is just getting started. It means beginning as you mean to go. And of course, no parents are perfect. Every parental team is flawed, and we all make mistakes. But our level of awareness and self-education on the parenting subject can certainly help eliminate at least some mistakes, right?

So I just finished reading "Changing Your Child's Heart". It presents a collection of tools for parents who want not only to help their kids cultivate quality behavior, but who also desire to help their children learn to control their naturally rebellious attitudes.

The book shows multiple scripture passages to support each parenting principle, and gives plenty of stories and illustrations to make things clear, including many of the author's personal experiences.

I personally believe that authoritarian parenting is abusive. (Authoritarian parents are all about power and control, and often cross over into inappropriate physical forms of discipline.) But I'm convinced that permissive parenting is just as damaging. (Permissive parents are all about pleasing their kids at the expense of character development, which easily leads to forms of emotional abuse.) The remaining parenting option is authoritative, where the parents attempt to guide and teach children in loving, biblically acceptable ways.

It's tough to find books on parenting that are balanced, biblical, creative and character-oriented. It's even more difficult to find books that get down to the practical stuff rather than pontificating about vague principles and concepts. "Changing Your Child's Heart" does just that - it breaks down broad principles into practical tools that translate into everyday family life.

This book also presents a wide variety of creative tools for helping kids take charge of their own attitudes, without resorting to spanking as the primary form of discipline. Instead of being a book about spanking (as you might expect from a "biblical" parenting guide), it's a book about finding what works for your child without compromising your expectations of obedience, honesty, respect, courtesy, and helpfulness.

I can't say that I'd follow every single idea the author suggests, but overall I enjoyed this book tremendously. I would definitely recommend it to other parents who also want to cultivate strong traits of Christian character in their children.

on the capacity to sit still...

2010-05-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

Most kids today can't sit still. Not through church. Not through meetings. Not while visiting in someone else's home.

Actually, I'm not sure it's so much that they can't sit still as that their parents don't even expect them to. Mommy and Daddy don't think they can, so the level of parental expectation is never set very high. As a result, our society has a whole generation of disrespectful kids running wild, and a whole generation of exhausted, embarrassed parents.

And the syndrome doesn't stop with the little kids either. Just recently I was at meeting where hundreds of people had gathered in a very large and echo-y convention hall. I was doing my best to keep my 6-month old quietly entertained when I realized that the "adults" around us were far louder than him. I could hear normal-voiced conversations being carried on without any shame or sense of respect for the commencement speaker (who was actually pretty good). I wished I could have heard more of the lecture, but it wasn't my kid keeping me from listening - it was all the other people.

When someone in the row in front of me leaned over and quite politely "Sssshh'd" the offending parties, they shrugged their shoulders and said aloud: "Dude! I don't care!"

I probably shouldn't have been shocked. But something inside me still recoiled. THIS is today's young adult generation. Sadly, THESE will be the parents of the next generation. And then we sit back and wonder why our social structure is in its current state of decay.

Some people think I'm crazy for expecting my child to sit quietly through church. After all, he's only 6 months old, right? But I do. If the Hubby and I never set the expectation, it will certainly never be met. And yes, we know it's a long training process to get there, with lots of squirms and wiggles and the occasional "take him out and calm him down and bring him back in" trip to the back of the church.

But here's the thing... We believe that if a child is physically capable of doing something, they should be expected and trained to do it. (We are talking about good things only, of course... :) We know Little Man is capable now of sitting, on his own, for 10-20 minutes at a time. He does it at home all week long.

We also know he is capable of playing very quietly with his favorite toy while sitting for that period of time. That's another thing we encourage him to do all week long.

We know he is capable of sitting through morning and evening family worship with us every day with a minimum of wiggles and shrieks (some days are better than others of course). This isn't necessarily natural, but it's because we've been doing it with him since the second day in the hospital when he was born. So it's part of his normal routine.

We also know that if there is music or activity to engage his interest, he can sit fairly quietly for even a little bit longer.

So if you put all those physical capabilities together, it's not unreasonable for him to sit quietly for a half hour of church - at the age of 6 months. (Before he could sit well by himself, we brought his Bumbo seat to church to get him started on the habit. He'd only last for about 10 minutes, but it's the training that counts.) Of course after 25 or 30 minutes is up, Momma has to get quietly creative! We also sit somewhere in the front two rows, so he can easily see all the action - it makes for a long trip out the back door on uncooperative weekends, but it's worth it.

Last weekend, I noticed a ripple of astonishment in the row behind me when Little Man and I had gotten settled into our pew. Like usual, I had taken a seat at the end of the row (for easy escape if necessary), and set the baby down beside me in his own chair (our church doesn't have pews). I gave him his toy and kept a hand ready in case he lost his balance. For the next 20 minutes or so, he sat there on his own, alternately engaged by playing with his toy and by watching the singing and announcements.

People couldn't believe it. Of course, they don't realize how much intentional training goes into getting him there. We work with him every day at home on little activities that help him learn to sit quietly and engage himself without being a disruption to others. Every day he has loud-wiggly-goofy-play time, and sitting-still-being-quiet-play time. He thinks it's just normal. We know we're helping him practice for places like church and graduations and other meetings when he needs to have the capacity to sit still and honor others.

Even as young as 6 months, we have placed the expectation on him of learning to act courteously in public. No, we aren't naive enough to think that he'll never have a meltdown. But neither are we naive enough to assume that he'll eventually learn to control himself and act responsibly in a public venue without some gentle parental guidance (no matter how much work it costs us to get him there).

But if all it takes is a little extra work on our part to give him the tools to become a respectful and courteous young adult someday - the kind who doesn't shamelessly disrupt meetings and behave rudely at the expense of others - then we think that's an okay price to pay.

Share

the soundtrack of my life

2010-04-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

This evening after Little Man's bathtime and family worship, I turned on our iPod mix labeled "sabbath".

It's a reverent but eclectic jumble of Romanian and Russian chorales, British boys' choir, American quartets and piano & violin solos. It's our go-to playlist at the end of the week. A final touch on a busy day spent preparing to rest. And a great way to get in the frame of mind to spend time with God tomorrow.

Right now I'm writing this on my phone while Little Man slumbers peacefully on my chest. And each genre of music takes me somewhere different.

It's amazing, the power of sound on the human emotion. As each song plays, crisp memories of other times and places wash over me.

GLAD quartet: summer of 1997, during my first summer colporteuring

Russian choir: summer of 1995, wandering through the campus of Zaokski University in the early morning before church, as choir music floated out of the upstairs windows of the church building

British boys choir: spring of 2007, feeling very small as I stared at the magnificent ceiling of St Paul's cathedral in London, and soaked up the majestic strains of the Evensong performance

Those memories from my teen years (and a few from my 20's) stand out in sharp definition. This year I will turn 30. Somehow, the day-to-day happenings don't seem as outlined against the soundtrack of my life. That might have something to do with getting older, or with the mental fumbling that comes from baby brain, or just that life has settled down and isn't one long adventure anymore.

But even though there are days when I can't remember what I put on the grocery list, all I have to do is turn on this playlist and suddenly I'm 14 years old again. Every emotion is heightened, every sensation intensified. And I can remember the feelings and dreams of my childhood as though it were only yesterday.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

Sarah's Egg Salad

2010-04-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

6 eggs, hardboiled & chopped
2-3 Tbsp mayo
1 tsp spicy mustard
1 tsp regular mustard
1/2 tsp curry powder
sliced black olives
salt to taste

Mix the ingredients together. Serve on sandwiches or alone.

potato soup recipe

2010-04-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Sarah's Romanian-Style Potato Soup

8-10 small/medium potatos, peeled and chopped into chunks
2 Tbsp dried parsley flakes
3 Tbsp Vegeta seasoning
1-2 Tbsp olive oil
salt to taste

Boil potatoes in 3 quarts of water until soft and smooshy. Add oil, salt, Vegeta and parsley.

Once the potatoes are soft, let the soup simmer for at least an hour to blend the flavors.

Serve it plain with yummy bread on the side, or add a dollop of sour cream in each bowl.

biblical instructions for NEW MOMMY and NEW DADDY (4 of 4)

2010-04-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the Bible has some great advice for new mothers?

Lots of people seem to think that the book of Leviticus is outdated, old-fashioned, and generally inapplicable to modern life, but I don't see it all that way. I'm not writing this to argue about old health and dietary laws, or to debate what should be imposed on us today.

I'm just saying, check this out before you assume that it wouldn't make your life easier as a NEW MOMMY.

Leviticus 12:2-5 says:

If a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son, she will be ceremonially unclean for 7 days, just as she is unclean during her menstrual period. On the eighth day the boy’s foreskin must be circumcised. After waiting 33 days, she will be purified from the bleeding of childbirth.

During this time of purification, she must not touch anything that is set apart as holy. And she must not enter the sanctuary until her time of purification is over. If a woman gives birth to a daughter, she will be ceremonially unclean for 2 weeks, just as she is unclean during her menstrual period. After waiting 66 days, she will be purified from the bleeding of childbirth.

Whether you do or don't circumcise doesn't matter. And while many people seem to think that this passage is sexist and biased against women, I think it's the exact opposite.

Think about it. God is essentially saying that for 1-2 weeks a woman is ceremonially unclean. That meant you had to wash your hands before and after touching her or the baby. It also meant that most people didn't want to get too close, or they'd become ceremonially unclean too. Result? A cleaner, more germ-free environment for mother and baby, and a minimum number of guests.

During the mother's "time of purification" she couldn't travel, have sex, go to church, or do housework. That meant she had unlimited time to breastfeed, bond with her baby, and stay home and rest while other relatives and friends did her heavy work. It also meant that she got to avoid big crowds where there are lots of germs. And that her husband was banned from pressuring her to have sex before she'd had time to heal and recuperate.

And why was it longer for baby girls than for baby boys? Well, here it says that even today baby girls tend to have lower birth weights and higher mortality rates. So staying home and resting was the best way for a new baby girl to get a healthy start.

Sounds like God was protecting new mommies and new babies, to me. As I got closer to having our son, the idea of 6 weeks at home without much housework sounded better and better! I wanted that time to figure out mommyhood, bond with my baby, and get my energy back.

What does this mean for new daddies? Since we don't live in the "village" society anymore, where your wife would be surrounded by female relatives and friends to do her work - it means you probably need to pick up the ball. Either do your wife's work yourself, or make sure that someone around you is consistently helping in your house.

Do this, and you will be your wife's hero forever.

Share

NEW DADDIES' GUIDE TO BEING NEW MOMMY'S HERO (3 of 4)

2010-04-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Your baby just arrived - and now the real fun begins. And maybe the toughest thing for NEW DADDY to accept is that absolutely none of this is about you. You're definitely a part of it, and it's absolutely about you, and the NEW MOMMY and the BABY becoming a family together. But you're not the center of attention here. On the other hand, you should know that you have the capacity to completely ruin the experience for your wife. The way you act over the next several weeks (or few months) will determine whether you are her hero for life, or a total idiot.

And every good husband wants to be his wife's hero, right? These pointers will take you a looooooong way in that direction.

(NOTE: A friend pointed out to me that without some context, this post might sound like it was written out of bitterness or frustration at my own husband, which couldn't be further from the truth. So here's the context: the majority of these are things my husband volunteered to do or instinctively understood. I didn't make him do them. Neither did anybody else.

All I can say is that he is one amazing husband and an incredible daddy, and he has the beautiful gift of empathy. So while he definitely put out tremendous and intentional effort, some of these things came pretty naturally to him. And he helped me think of things to include in the list so other new daddies could have an easier time of it.)

Tell her she's wonderful (and beautiful)! No matter how puffy and worn out she looks, she's just brought life into the world. And that life is your son or daughter. So don't hold back - say it over and over. She's incredible.
Be her bouncer. She's too tired, and probably too polite, to make visitors leave. It's your job - and your privilege - to protect her and your new baby. When your wife is looking tired, gently urge guests to the door, whether its your home or the hospital room. Never invite anyone over without specifically asking your wife first. Don't assume she has the energy just because she finally got a shower today. Protect her interests over everyone else's, even your own.
Don't categorize how tired you think she is (or isn't). You'll never do anything as hard as what she just did. Check your ego at the door and get over it. You will never be this tired. You will never have this many hormones flooding through your system at once. She has got you beat, and no matter how much you might think you can relate or compare it to your own experience - you can't. Say: "I can't imagine how tired you must be, baby!" NOT: "Wow, you must be almost as tired as I was when I did that triathlon!"
See if you can take off work. Did you know that most states have laws mandating paid paternity leave for up to 2 weeks? If your state does, check with your boss to see how much time you can spend at home right after the baby is born. It's a great time to just be with your wife and the new baby and bond together. If you can't take much time off, ask to bring work home with you so you can still be around for a few days at the very beginning.
Don't lie there snoring while she's up with the baby. Unless it's because you plan on taking the next 8-hour shift so she can sleep too. You helped make this baby, you help care for it. Even if that just means sitting up with her during night time feedings so she doesn't feel utterly and completely alone.

But you have to work all day tomorrow? Boo hoo. Guess what, so does she. While you're away at work, she'll be doing everything BABY needs. While producing breastmilk (which burns the same calories as running on the treadmill for a full hour). While healing from the delivery process. While recuperating from making a baby for 10 months. The least you can do is get a little tired with her.

(Especially if you're a guy with a desk job. However, if your day-time job is heavy physical labor, or particularly dangerous - this might not apply to you.)
Don't ask her to do ANYTHING for you. Not cooking. Not your laundry. Not rubbing your back or playing with your hair. Don't ask her to lift a finger on your behalf. This is a time (for at least 6-8 weeks) where she needs to feel free to bond with the baby, get lactation established (if she's breastfeeding) and figure out mommyhood. Later, when her energy's back, she'll have time for you again. Until then, be a big boy about it and take care of yourself.
Keep comments about her size to yourself. Baby belly doesn't disappear overnight, no matter what celebrities say. It'll take her time to lose the weight, and if you want to help her out the best thing you can do is put daily babysitting on your calendar so she can get away for some exercise. But it'll take her a little while to even have enough energy for that. Don't push her, don't tease her, don't bug her about it. Do tell her that if she wants to go to a gym or get other exercise, you will: 1)pay for it without complaining, and 2)make every possible effort to help with childcare. This may mean that you don't get to the gym yourself for a little while. You'll live. If she's going to lose the baby weight, the best time is in the first year - after that it tends to stick around. But let her decide when she's ready to start working out again.
Whatever NEW MOMMY wants, you make sure she gets it. No, I'm not saying you should enable narcissism. But most new mothers are entering the most selfless phase of their entire lives up to this point. It's time for NEW DADDY to be selfless too. If she needs water at 2 AM, go get it. If she wants to go for a walk and you don't feel like it, suck it up and tag along. If she's been walking the baby, give her a foot rub every night for a few nights. Things will balance out later. For now, just go out of your way to fawn over her. It'll come back to you in very good ways later on, guaranteed.
Don't question her decisions about BABY at first. Her instincts are good. Trust them. Ask her how to do things and then try out her instructions before experimenting. You may be an expert in many areas, but this is her turf. If you have a good idea, ask her what she thinks, but don't argue if she doesn't agree. She might be touchy right now, she wants everything to be perfect, and she's probably spent weeks reading up on parenting resources that you haven't even heard of. Trust your wife. And when you follow her instructions, you're proving to her that she can trust you with the baby. Later on, when everything settles down a little, you'll have plenty of time to develop your own style as a dad!
Bring BABY to her at night, especially during the first few weeks. It's a simple way to show her you're a partner in this exhausting journey. And don't complain about how tired you are. She's doing everything you are, plus healing and breastfeeding. When she's done breastfeeding, you can change the diaper, and put baby back to bed so NEW MOMMY can fall asleep faster.
Swap nights when baby is a little older. After baby has started sleeping a few more hours at night, take one night on and one night off. That way each of you can look forward to a full night of sleep every other night. (We did sleep training, so for us this only lasted about three weeks; by the time Little Man was 6 or 7 weeks old he was sleeping 6-8 hours a night already.)

This is easy if you're bottle feeding. If baby is breastfed, invest in some wide-base bottle nipples that mimic the breast. That way you can get up and feed baby with pumped milk while your wife sleeps. Good rest is essential to keeping up her milk supply, as well as helping her have the patience and alertness to be a good mother.
Read parenting books your wife likes. If you want to be any kind of dad at all, you and your wife need to be on the same page with parenting philosophies. If you're smart, you've been showing an interest in parenting books long before now. But this is no time to slack off. There's more to raising good kids than just making sure they are fed and bathed regularly. When you intentionally invest time in reading and talking about your parenting plan with your wife, she knows she's not alone. That means she can relax about the future, which is good in all kinds of ways - particularly in her trust and admiration for you.
Remember that NEW MOMMY tires quickly. She might start each day with all kinds of plans, and then be prostrate on the couch by 11 AM. Don't panic. This is normal. It's your cue to either 1) step in and do those things for her, or 2) gently remind her that they weren't so important in the first place and she's still an amazing woman and mommy even if it doesn't get done today.
Understand NEW MOMMY's sleep deprivation. You might be able to lie down and fall deeply asleep - but your wife most likely can't. Not that she doesn't want to. By the time BABY is two or three weeks old, your wife would probably give her right arm to be able to fall into deep, restful sleep. But it just doesn't work that way. NEW MOMMY will probably not be able to truly sleep for another few months. She's like a momma deer, always with one eye open. She's ready to scramble into full-care-mode in 2 seconds if baby needs her. Which is murder on her own ability to rest. So just because she fell asleep, doesn't mean she's rested. Remember that, when you want to make some smart crack about how tired YOU are.
Get some other daddy-friends. If this is your first baby and all your friends are single or childless, the transition can be tough. It might be hard to want to spend a family evening at home when your buddies are heading out to do something you would normally join. And it can be hard to be positive about all the changes if your pals are ribbing you about all the "freedom" you've lost by becoming a dad. Their teasing can rob you of the joys and amazement of daddyhood if you let it. Find some other dads your age who love being involved with their families. Swap stories and do things together - you'll feel less frustrated about being "tied down" (if that's how you feel right now), and you'll pick up some great tips from guys who've been there.
Watch for signs of post-partum depression. It's pretty normal for a NEW MOMMY to barely even shower or remember to eat in the first few days. But if that pattern goes on for a while, or if she continues to seem discouraged or to doubt her ability to be a mother, have a heart-to-heart with her about how she's really doing. (Or ask a trusted friend or relative to do it.) NEW MOMMY doesn't want to be seen as a failure, and she definitely doesn't want anyone to doubt her ability to be a good mom. So she's not likely to come and spill it out. You can help by observing her and making sure she gets the rest and support she needs.

Some guys reading this are thinking "No way, man! I'm not gonna be subservient to my wife like that!" But this isn't about subservience, it's about servant leadership. It's not about submitting to your wife, it's about not demanding anything from her while she's so fragile. It means you're making a conscious choice to be spectacularly unselfish during this period of time.

And it's not about being controlled by your wife. Rather, it's about being compassionate and sympathetic to what she's going through. She has just given you a child that will carry on your name into the next generation. That's huge. This whole period of time is an opportunity for you to express over and over to her how much you love her, in ways that remind her how blessed she is to have you as a husband.

It'll all get back into balance sooner than you think. Especially if you do any kind of baby sleep training so the whole family can get some rest. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse, for everyone. And if it seems like the exhaustion will never end, just hang in there. Millions of other parents have made it through to the other side, with only a few less brain cells to show for it. :)

(next post: biblical instructions for NEW MOMMY to rest, and for NEW DADDY to share the burden...)

Share

FAMILIES' GUIDE TO HELPING A NEW MOMMY (2 of 4)

2010-03-31T06:45:00.000-07:00

If you've had your own kids, these ideas may come naturally. But if you haven't, you might want a few tips on how to make NEW MOMMY's life a little easier.

Ask her how long she wants you to be with her in the hospital each day. And when you visit, BE QUIET! If she's resting, be vigilant to keep noises down. Right now she's not sleeping deeply, because she's too attuned to every sound from BABY. The slightest rustle can jar NEW MOMMY from the rest she desperately needs.
Make sure the refrigerator is fully stocked. Ask what she wants to eat - her cravings and tastes may have changed drastically in the hours since giving birth, especially if she was nauseated during late pregnancy.
Take your phone calls outside. Keep the atmosphere calm and relaxed. Don't stress her out about your private troubles.
If this isn't NEW MOMMY's first baby, help babysit the older child(ren). Keep them quiet, occupied and happy. Make sure she doesn't have to worry about their well-being. And offer to take the baby now and then so that NEW MOMMY can spend a little quality time with the older one(s), too.
Just sit. Be there with her. Don't feel pressured to entertain or be entertained. Your presence and support is the most valuable thing.
Keep your advice to yourself. Don't overwhelm her with opinions, ideas, and stories. Tell her that if she needs help she is welcome to ask you, and then let her explore this new journey on her own a little.
MAKE HER REST. She might feel guilty that everyone is doing things that are normally "her job". She may be so jittery that she can hardly calm down and relax. Give her permission to go rest. Assure her that you've got it under control. She will probably jump awake at every sound baby makes - so if you take BABY so she can nap, be sure to have BABY far enough away that NEW MOMMY can't hear any crying or noises.
After a couple of weeks, offer to sleep over and care for the baby overnight. Or offer to take baby to your house overnight if that works. This can work even if mommy is breastfeeding. You just take care of everything else and bring baby to her for feeding. Or, ask mommy to pump enough milk for overnight and feed the baby with a bottle.
Love on BABY and on NEW MOMMY a whole lot. Keep fights or family arguments on the back burner. Set aside old issues. Do whatever it is she wants - she'll appreciate you for it forever.
Last, but not least, don't criticize NEW MOMMY's parenting choices. If she wants to give baby a binkie and you think they're ridiculous, keep it to yourself. If she wants baby to sleep in a crib from day one and you did something different, don't bring it up. The more you criticize her decisions (unless she's endangering her child), the more likely she is to just wish you'd leave.

FRIENDS' GUIDE TO VISITING A NEW MOMMY (1 of 4)

2010-03-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

So you're friends with someone who just had a baby. Here's a few pointers for making yourself useful when you visit the new mommy, and being the kind of friend she wants to invite back instead of the kind that she silently wishes would just leave.

Keep your voice down. NEW MOMMY's ears are hypersensitive from all those hormones flooding her system. She can practically hear her baby breathing from two rooms away, so try to speak softly, laugh quietly and just be generally low-key.
Bring food. The last thing NEW MOMMY needs to be doing is cooking right now. Check with her before you come over to see if there's anything that sounds yummy, and don't take her polite "Oh don't worry about it! You don't need to bring anything!" for an answer. Insist.
Don't hog the BABY. Most people who visit a NEW MOMMY think they're helping if they offer to hold the baby for her so that she can "get things done". Believe me, that's not really helping. Instead, offer to "get things done" for her, so she can have more guilt-free uninterrupted time with her baby.
Sit down when you hold BABY. Nothing freaks a NEW MOMMY out more than worrying whether her bundle of fragile innocence is safe in your arms. And she may be too exhausted and polite to tell you.
Do the dishes. If there are chores that have obviously been let go, get yourself up from the couch and be useful. Clean up the kitchen. Offer to put on a load of laundry. Ask if she needs anything picked up from the grocery store.
Don't stay too long. Doesn't matter how chipper she sounds, NEW MOMMY tires easily. Come to visit, help out a bit, and then say goodbye. Unless of course, you're sticking around to scrub toilets or weed the flowerbeds.
Last, but not least, don't stop visiting (and helping) after the first couple weeks. Energetic hormones carry NEW MOMMY through the first 10 days or so. New mommyhood starts to get really rough about the time everyone has forgotten about you and gone back to their lives. So stay in touch.

when we got home from the hospital...

2010-03-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

So, a lot of our friends have been having babies lately, and I got to thinking about when Little Man arrived. The support of my family and our friends was what got me through the exhaustion of the first few weeks. I can't imagine how tough it must be on women who have no one to help. Absent family, distant friends, bum husbands...

My family was amazing, and The Hubby was an absolute saint. No matter what he ever does in the future, I will never forget how selfless and serving he was. He became my hero for life. He ran errands, told me to rest when I felt guilty that everyone was doing everything for me, got up with me every night for weeks, cooked, cleaned, did laundry - you name it.

My parents arrived every day for moral support, to fix meals, watch the baby while I got a shower or nap (although I was so juiced during those first weeks that I could rarely fall asleep).Their advice and wisdom and experience kept me sane. And at that 2-week breaking point, when the sleep-deprivation got to the point of psychological torture, they took the baby all night. I slept for 16 hours straight, knowing he was in good hands.

And my sister was incredible. She cooked enough food to last 2-3 weeks, helped me survive lactation issues, sat with me for nearly two hours one afternoon while Little Man screamed in his inability to latch and I was a sobbing mess. Her medical knowledge (she's a PICU nurse) made me feel that I had someone to turn to when I couldn't figure things out.

Until you've been there, you really don't know how much you need people around. I once thought I wanted to launch into mothering myself. I wanted to have the "space" and "freedom" to learn and explore without interference. But when you bring that helpless tiny baby home and everyone else waves goodbye, heading back to life as normal - it's enough to induce a panic attack.

You may have thought you understood exhaustion. (I used to work three jobs while planning a wedding as a student in college - but I didn't have a clue.)

You may have thought you knew pain. You may have thought you were a generally unselfish person. But until you've been jarred awake from anxiety over tiny baby noises, every 8 minutes around the clock for three weeks straight, or you've put your baby to your breast every 2 hours despite the pain of blebs and nipple cracks - you still have a few things to learn.

My point?

Early motherhood is overwhelming and exhausting no matter how much help you have. The fluctuating hormones and post-birth healing process ain't easy, much less the actual caring-for-your-baby part.

So I've written a few guides (see upcoming posts), based on my observations and experience, for new daddies, and friends/family of new parents.

If any of you have suggestions to add, do leave a comment!

ahhhhh.... spring!

2010-03-24T15:19:00.000-07:00

The other day I realized that this is the first spring I've been able to actually enjoy in at least five years.

Last year at this time I was pregnant and sick all day every day. The four years previous I spent working at a job so wholly demanding that I almost never had a guilt-free chance to pause and marvel at the flowers, the sunshine, the warm spring breezes.

But this year is different.

This year I am a mother. This year I am working my own hours, in my own company. This year I can take my laptop outdoors and soak up sunshine while being productive.

Or I can just scrap it all and spend a few hours on the porch swing with my son, watching him blow bubbles and stare in wonderment at every new thing. And, since everything is new, he finds it all magnificently fascinating.

Today I planted flowers, mulched the shrubbery beds and potted herbs. Little Man rolled around on his blanket in the grass, observing my every move and babbling contentedly.

This is paradise.

it's ok, I can take my brand loyalty elsewhere!

2010-03-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

Calling all church architects, restaurant owners and store managers:

You really have no excuse for failing to put changing tables into your women's bathrooms unless you want poopy diapers to be changed on your pews, booth seats and display tables.

For that matter, men's restrooms should have changing tables too. It's a new century. Men change diapers now. Except of course when they are somewhere that the only changing table is in the ladies room. (Then I'd hate to be a single father stuck in your place of business or worship!)

It's time to end this blatant inattentiveness to the needs of young families. Unless, of course, you're subtly implying that we are not welcome in your establishment. In which case we are happy to take our children elsewhere to experience their childhood memories and develop their earliest brand loyalties.

Which means that, without the interest of the next generation, your establishment is ultimately doomed to die a lonely death - whether you are a store, a restaurant or even a church.

We who have small children WILL find a place that welcomes us.

But hey, it's totally your choice whether that place is yours!

just gotta share it...

2010-03-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

I think these are some of the best commercials out there this year (besides the totally creative Dorito's commercials!)... So I wanted to share a few of my favorites:

Sarah’s Pina Colada Granola

2010-03-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

(Amounts in brackets are for a double recipe.)

2 [4.5] c    old fashioned oats
1/2 c         sliced almonds or chopped walnuts/pecans
1/2 c         salted sunflower seeds
1 c            shredded Sweet Coconut
2-4 T        wheat germ or ground flax seed

1/2 [1] c    honey/brown sugar
1/2 t          salt
1/3 [2/3]c coconut/pina colada mixer (from the liquor aisle at the grocery store)
1/4 [1/3]c oil
2t [1T]      vanilla
1t [2t]       almond extract

Add 1/2 t coconut extract, orange extract or other if desired

Preheat oven to 325 F.

Combine all dry ingredients into a large bowl.

In small saucepan heat all liquid ingredients and salt until it simmers.

Pour liquid over dry ingredients and stir until well mixed.

Spread a layer on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. The recipe should take two cookie sheets.

Bake 15-20 min and stir several times to prevent burning, until golden brown. Turn oven down to 275 if necessary.

After removing from oven toss with any dried fruits you like (dried pineapple, mango, papaya, cranberries, yogurt covered raisins, etc).

show a little love...

2010-02-08T19:14:00.001-08:00

Vote for me in this contest!

Contest details

before you become a mother...

2010-02-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

...nobody can tell you:

how you will break down and cry when you see your baby's face the first time.
how you will melt when you hear his first cooing sounds - and keep melting at all the ones that follow.
how you will never fully, deeply sleep again because you have one ear tuned to their cries.
how you can be standing in a room filled with babies and still know when YOUR baby is the one crying.
how you will somehow find the energy to stay awake and pleasant each day after months of sleepless nights, physical exhaustion, and hormonal swings.
how you would throw yourself in front anything to protect your child.
how tears fill your eyes at the mere thought of something happening to your baby.

recipe:: cranberry scones

2010-01-14T14:20:00.000-08:00

So today I finally got around to making the scones I've been drooling over for two weeks.

Per request, here's the recipe:

Sarah's Cranberry Scones

- scant 4 cups white all-purpose flour
- 2 eggs, beaten
(- 1 egg, beaten, for egg wash)
- scant 1/3 cup white sugar
- 1 1/2 Tablespoons baking powder
- 1 stick butter, softened
- 1 cup milk (I use plain soymilk)
- 1/2-2/3 cup dried cranberries or craisins
- 1/2 cup shredded coconut (if you like it)
- 1 teaspoon imitation vanilla flavoring
- 1/2 teaspoon almond flavoring

Preheat oven to 425 F. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Add all ingredients into a mixing bowl except the egg wash and the cranberries.

Mix in mixing bowl on Slow, for 2 minutes, or for 5 minutes if doing it by hand.

Add cranberries slowly into the dough just before done mixing. Turn lump of dough onto slightly floured surface. Roll dough into a 2-inch think circle with floured rolling pin. Use a cookie cutter or jar lid to cut in circles and place on lined baking sheet.

Brush the scones with the beaten egg wash. Put baking sheet in the frig for 10 minutes to chill.

Remove from frig and bake in the oven on a middle rack for 15-17 minutes, until golden brown.

Serve warm. Enjoy!!

i never had a clue...

2010-01-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

...how ridiculously difficult it is to go shopping with a little baby.

Several days ago (before this nonsense cold snap arrived that's been blowing across the South), I went shopping.

I intended to go early so I could get stuff done around the house afterward.

Nice fantasy.

Little Man eats at 6 AM. After he's squared away, I grab some breakfast, throw in a load of laundry, shower, dress and fix my face - in between soothing him and putting him down for a nap. By the time I'm ready to leave, it's 10 AM and he needs to eat again. Warm a bottle of Mommy's milk.

He's a slow eater, so that took until 11. Then a diaper change, dress him in day clothes, and pack a diaper bag. Take 10 minutes at the breast pump. Dismiss sci-fi-style mental images of living in a warehouse filled with human women lined up at milking machines like so many dairy cows.

By now it's nearing noon. I'm hungry for lunch, so I grab a piece of fruit and then load the car.

But then Little Man fills his diaper. Run upstairs to change him quickly before leaving.

Pause at the laundry room to toss the wash into the dryer.

12:30 PM
Drive 30 minutes to find the stores I need in this new town. Get completely turned around. Find myself on the wrong freeway and try to GPS myself back on track without endangering myself and the baby.

Baby falls asleep in the car.

Arrive at the stores. Find a cart. Haul monster munchkin (he's super heavy) out of the backseat. Accidentally bump the side of the car, jarring and waking him.

Walk lopsided to compensate for heavy baby (WHY DID I TRY TO LOOK CUTE AND WEAR HIGH HEELS?) into store and grab teeny tiny undersized shopping cart. Baby seat doesn't fit properly into the front, so Little Man is practically standing up because it tilts so far forward.

Push cart with screaming baby around store. Try soothing him with one hand while steering the cart (WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE CART WITH THE BAD WHEEL??!?!??) with the other.

Scan merchandise with my eyes, since both hands are busy. Find a dress to try on and maneuver cart and baby and dress and purse into fitting room area. Strip. Dress fits - yay! So what if it's two sizes bigger than I'd have worn this time last year.

Will not dwell on unprofitable trains of thought such as weight and size.

Little Man is now expressing distress at a decibel level guaranteed to be ticking off every other woman in the fitting rooms. Decide to nurse him in the fitting room - I'm already undressed anyway!

Little Man fills diaper again.

Change him on the narrow bench in the fitting room. Try to let him touch as little of the surrounding area as possible. Give up trying.

3:00 PM
Little Man falls contentedly asleep in his carseat as I push the cart to find the rest of the things I need. Go through checkout. Psyche myself up to get everything out to the car without waking baby.

Store doesn't have automatic doors, so I load up the cart and shove the door open with my butt. Fail to notice that the cart has a tall pole on it to prevent removal from the store, and so yank with all my strength to pull heavy cart through non-automatic door.

BAM!! I succeed only in ramming tall cart-pole into top of door, again jarring Little Man out of a sound sleep. Just fabulous.

Three judgmental heads swivel my way as every cashier hears the ramming sound. "Lady, you cain't take them carts out inta tha parkin' lot!"

You don't say.

So ummm, how exactly am I supposed to lug my purse, a 14-pound baby in a 10-pound car seat, and all my shopping bags out to my car? HUH?

I will never come back here again. I will never come back here again. It's a mantra in my head. Over and over and over, like a clacking train.

But I know I will come back here again. It's ROSS, after all. And it's right beside Marshall's and TJ Maxx. I will definitely be here again. Whether I LIKE IT OR NOT!

My feet are aching. My back is killing me. All I want to do is curl up in a fetal position and trade places with my kid who was moments ago sleeping innocently in his car seat.

But instead I leave my purchases with a (slightly) sympathetic cashier, haul Little Man out to the car, drive to the curb to load the rest. And try not to get lost on the way home.

I think I might run a hot bath when I get back.

By the time we arrive, it's almost 5 PM. I take Little Man inside out of the cold and go back for all the loot. If I hurry I can check my Facebook before he needs to eat.

But no. Two very nice young Mormon missionaries pick RIGHT NOW to talk to me. They shake my hand and introduce themselves. "I'm Elder blah blah blah..." I see their spiffy name tags and all I can think is Elder? You're kidding. I'm almost twice as old as you, and I'M NOT THAT OLD! They ask if I've ever met missionaries before.

I tell them that I worked my way through college doing exactly what they're doing. So yes, I know all about it. Be nice, they don't know what kind of day you've had.

"Could we come back after the holidays and visit with your family?"

Right now I need to nurse so badly I'll agree to almost anything. "Tell you what, my husband is a Seventh-day Adventist minister. You wanna visit? Feel free to come back and meet with him any time. Now I've got a 9-week old baby inside that needs to eat, so it was nice to meet you!" I lug the last bags inside.

Once everything is unloaded I have about 5 minutes to spare before Little Man is starving and thinks his world is going to end immediately. Despite feeling like my milk machine is going to hit my chin, I warm a bottle, because it's faster.

Then another urgent diaper change. Then 15 minutes at the breast pump. I am not a dairy cow. I am not a dairy cow.

Grab a bite of supper. Say two quick words to the Hubby. Sort through the shopping bags in a rush.

7:00 PM
Bath time for Little Man. Knees yell at me for crouching beside the bathtub on tile floor.

7:30 PM
Little Man is in pj's. And he's hungry again. This child could drink me out of house and home. I jiggle the bottle in his mouth because he keeps nodding off. Sleepy wide eyes drop closed, heavy and slow.

8:30 PM
Little Man is down for the count. I need to put him down but he smells so sweet and feels snuggly in my arms, so I sit there rocking him in the dark for a few minutes more. I wonder what it must like to exist in such total trust and innocence.

9 PM
Change into pj's. Another 10 minutes at the breast pump. I am sooooo totally a human dairy cow.

Fall into bed. 5:30 AM is hurtling toward me already.

Oh crud. The clothes are still in the dryer. Sigh. So much for getting lots done around the house after going shopping.

Maybe tomorrow I can manage to get them out and fold them. That'll be my goal for the day. If I can get that done, I will have accomplished much.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.

good. better. best?

2010-01-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

Every parent wants to give their kid good things. Sometimes we want good things for them so badly that we jeopardize their chances for anything better.

Like the parents who lift themselves up from poverty into wealth and then hand their children everything they demand. Sure, their kids are getting good things: toys, cars, designer clothes. But they're also getting an attitude of entitlement right along with it.

And too often, they're not getting any character at all. Good things, at the expense of better things.

Or what about the music, recreation and entertainment we provide our kids? Lots of things are "okay". They aren't harmful or damaging. But why settle for "okay"?

Why not stick with top quality only? There's going to be plenty of time later for them to acquaint themselves with the mediocre.

If we can play either pop or classical on the radio, why go for pop? If we can watch tv or play a game together, why not go for the game?

It takes no more energy to say "yes ma'am" than it does to mumble "uh huh". So why not teach our kids to be courteous?

I'm not advocating Nazi parenting. I'm not saying kids should never have fun and just be children. But when we have options on what to provide them, I can't see any reason why mediocre should be acceptable.

It takes so very little to be above average in today's world of anything-goes. Why not at least give it a shot?

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

video updates (2)...

2010-01-03T12:59:00.000-08:00

video updates (1)...

2010-01-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

...for grandmommy and granddaddy.

Because they aren't next door anymore. And we don't want them to miss out on all the wiggles and giggles.

These are from this afternoon. He's been staring at his fists and turning them back and forth intently today.

"STARING AT MY HANDS"

"LAUGHING AT MOMMY"

pining for the grandparents...

2010-01-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

For the past two years, my folks lived about 2 miles away. It was the closest we've been together since I was 15 and left home for academy.

If I had to choose when to live near family, this was a good year to pick. Being pregnant, giving birth, and then learning to care for a new baby gave me extra appreciation for the wisdom and comfort of the older generation.

Sadly, when we moved, they did too.

In the opposite direction.

Now, instead of being 3 minutes away - we are more than 6 hours apart. And we miss you like the dickens already!

the new look...

2010-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

Little Man arrived 10 weeks ago, and I figured it was time CURWHIBBLES got a new look. You know, seeing as I'm not pregnant anymore and the old look was getting out of date.

So what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Ambivalent?

Leave me a comment!

2010

2010-01-01T18:10:00.001-08:00

So it's the beginning of the end of a decade.

I remember as a child, counting the years forward to 2000. "I'll be 20 then," I would tell myself. "I really, really hope Jesus doesn't come before I have a chance to get married..."

Right.

It's 2010, I've been married nearly seven years, and if you told me this time last year that I would have a two and a half month old son right now - I'd have laughed heartily.

2009 was a tough year.

It was the year I've been sicker than any other time, for longer, in my entire life.

It was a year that required setting aside one calling (a global ministry position), and taking up another (motherhood).

I can't say I've loved the process.

I wish I could say I've handled the entire experience with consistent grace and poise. If I did I'd be in total denial.

Some days I conquered it. Most days it conquered me back.

On December 31st, I reflected (while nursing the baby) on my role in the 2009 rollercoaster. I realize that 2010 may not be much easier, although for different reasons.

All of it has been out of my control. But I also realized that the one thing I can control is my reaction.

I can control how I respond. I can choose to be gracious or grouchy. I can decide to be poised or prissy. I can make those around me either miserable or merry.

And while I could make many resolutions for 2010 (like dropping the last 15 baby pounds, or baking my own whole wheat bread, or canning my own applesauce this summer), there is really only one that I want to set for myself.

In 2010, I want to be a reflection of kindness to my son and my husband. I want them to see Jesus in me.

I want every day to start fresh, to be an opportunity for new decisions that make the people around me feel loved and blessed.

I've always loved how Carolyn Arends put it in her song "New Year's Day":

I buy a lot of diaries
Fill them full of good intentions
Each and every New Year's Eve
I make myself a list
All the things I'm gonna change
Until January 2nd
So this time I'm making one promise

Chorus:
This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day
This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day

I believe it's possible
I believe in new beginnings
'Cause I believe in Christmas Day
And Easter morning too
And I'm convinced it's doable
'Cause I believe in second chances
Just the way that I believe in you

This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day
This could start a revolution
Every day is...

One more chance to start all over
One more chance to change and grow
One more chance to grab a hold of grace
And never let it go.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

merry Christmas

2009-12-25T05:53:00.001-08:00

In the past three and a half weeks we have accepted a ministry call in a new city, prayed for a place to live (you know the kind that meets both our needs and our budget), waded through more than 40 unlivable or outrageously expensive homes, and waited for a miracle house.

All this packing and househunting came mixed with the celebration of Auntie Chaycho's graduation and pinning, three baptisms at church, Little Man's baby dedication ceremony, and the accompanying lunches/suppers/&parties.

And, of course, the attempted daily maintenance of Little Man's schedule....

Now, it's Christmas morning. The house is halfway unpacked. Christmas cookies are baked and ready. Family arrived yesterday.

All I can think about is getting about 42 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Ain't gonna happen of course, but it's a nice daydream!

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

more top 5 faves::

2009-12-21T04:03:00.001-08:00

- Blu Chic tank tops from Charlotte Russe - they come in dozens of colors, cost usually $5 or less, stretch to accomodate nursing and are a general lifesaver under shirts that don't accomodate the babyfeeding cleavage or pants that need something long over the waistline.

- Huggies Pure & Natural organic diapers - last forever without causing diaper rash, have amazing leak protection for nuclear blowouts, and only cost a dollar or so more per pack. But we use fewer of them so it's totally worth it (until of course he gets into the next size up and ee can buy the regular Huggies in mega-packs at Costco!)

- Sassy sleep wedge - for keeping baby feeling snug and safe while sleeping on his back, he doesn't sleep nearly as well without it because it reduces his startling movements.

- Miley Cyrus stretch skinny jeans - if you know me well you'll know that I'd far rather buy clothes from Goodwill than from Wal-mart. But these stretchy jeans feel like leggings and don't cut in at the waist. For the Mom that's still carrying 12 pounds around (that would be me) I'll do just about anything to eliminate muffin top!

- Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil Gel in Shea & Cocoa Butter - I think babies should smell sweet and fresh after baths, but I had the worst time not getting baby oil all over the place. My sister showed me the oil gel, which does the same thing without saturating everything in sight. Love it!!

Hate It:
- the $40 Graco baby monitor. It doesn't work. If you want a monitor, spring for the $60 Fisher Price one. It's reliable, clear, has good battery life and a great reception range. I'm just sayin'....

(As usual, the top 5 list is simply my sharing with you about what I've discovered. I don't get any perks or kickbacks for doing it.)

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

on sleeping through the night...

2009-12-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

So a lot of my friends think I'm crazy for trying to keep Little Man on a schedule... They ridicule my "Babywise" philosophies, goodnaturedly of course.

Honestly there are days when I'm trying to maintain his routine (while packing boxes, organizing our final church dinners, attending christmas weddings and December graduations, and spending days househunting in a new city) that I think I must be crazy too!

But when Little Man sleeps through the night two nights in a row at 8 weeks old, naps an hour and a half at a time, and sets himself on a four-hour eating schedule without any outside interference... I'm reminded of how great the payoff is.

Some folks might think I just got lucky and won the easy-baby lottery. But I don't agree.

If you ask me, it's all in the training.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

to your children...

2009-12-15T10:24:00.000-08:00

...you will always be old.

No matter how young you are.

No matter how young you feel.

No matter how "cool" you are, or think you are.

No matter how much fun you have with your friends.

Your kids will never see you as you see yourself.

What's more, they'll never even realize it until they have a child of their own who'll always see THEM as old.

Sad ain't it?

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

update on baby schedules...

2009-12-04T04:47:00.000-08:00

So some of you wanted to know how the "mommy's schedule instead of baby's" has been going.

I'd have to say it's a good thing. And we've done pretty well at keeping it despite the packing boxes and hunting for a new house.

Little Man sets the schedule, I just help him keep it. That means when he moves from a 2-hour feeding schedule to 3, I make sure his schedule gets reset and he keeps eating on time. He's kind of like clockwork: he knows exactly when it's time to eat and is usually happy right up until then.

Right now he's eating every 3.5 to 4 hours, napping in between and waking up only once at night (around 4 AM).

And he's twelve pounds of chunky monkey, so I think our feeding issues are over.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

chunkopotamus...

2009-12-02T04:33:00.000-08:00

So the day before yesterday we visited the doctor to see just how far we've come.

Little Man was born 7lbs 12oz. Dropped to 6lbs 15oz at two weeks. Didn't start gaining back until 3 weeks. Had us all worried to bits.

And he was really the tiniest, skinniest baby I'd ever seen. People wondered if he was preemie.

Hmmmmm... Not anymore!

This particular chunkopotamus (as christened by Auntie Chacho) now weighs in at 10 pounds, 6.5 ounces.

He also grew another 1.25 inches in length, and a full inch in head circumference - catapulting him from the 19th percentile in weight to the 59th.

As the other lady in the newborn waiting room said, "He's giNORmous!" I guess in comparison to her 3-week old, he was.

Just wait a couple more weeks, lady. It's amazing what 14 days can bring!!

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

baby, you SUCK! (and that's an order)

2009-12-02T04:29:00.001-08:00

If you read this blog regularly, you'll have picked up on the fact that when Little Man arrived we had major feeding issues.

I desperately wanted to breastfeed and Little Man would have none of it. We had one complication after another, until (when he'd lost MORE weight at 2 weeks even with 10 feedings a day) the doctor ordered supplementation with bottles.

I still wanted to avoid formula, so we got orthotic bottle nipples (thanks for the hint on that Lisa!!), and an electric double-sided pump.

Not to replace breast feeding mind you, just to add to it.

Until he got an incredibly nasty case of thrush. And passed it over to me.

With both of us on antifungals, the bottle just worked better. Safer. Quicker. Less painful. You get the idea.

So I worried that after 2 weeks of exclusive bottle feeding, he'd never go back. Until two days ago...

I figured it couldn't hurt to experiment right? Just see if he'd go back? Maybe even like it?

He latched like he'd never left. And like he'd actually been good at breastfeeding in the first place!

Now you'd think those early days of stressing never even happened.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

our contribution to the Advent "movement"...

2009-11-25T04:58:00.001-08:00

So we found out last week that we are moving.

In 5 weeks.

With a newborn.

And yes, the very idea makes me tired. And a little sad.

Sad to leave behind the relationships that have begun blossoming right here. Sad to part from the ministries that have yet to grow into fullness.

Oh, and there's the minor point of packing and moving house just 6 months after settling into the place we're in now. (Yes, I moved into a new house at 6 months pregnant while the Hubby was gone on a mission trip - that was fun...) (And in all fairness I did have amazing help from friends and family.)

But a new church district and new opportunities for ministry beckon to us. And we've never denied a call from God.

So here's to packing boxes... yet again. I'll survive. And who knows what delightful adventures wait on the other end!

I just want to get through Thanksgiving first.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

things I haven't done...

2009-11-25T04:45:00.001-08:00

The things I haven't done:

unpacked my hospital bag,

any laundry except the baby's,

vacuumed the white fuzz from the nursery rug that seems to shed it's way through the entire house,

sorted my maternity clothes or started looking thru my older clothes to find things that both fit and allow for nursing.

But... I've conquered several steps toward nursing and scheduling, been peed on more than once, cried tears of both joy and exhaustion, taken (a couple) long afternoon naps, and generally put my old self to shame by letting all the extra things go undone.

Overall, I'm pretty proud of myself.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

top 5 faves in the first 2 weeks::

2009-11-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Halo Swaddle Sleep Sacks::in the fuzzy fleece material. It keeps him warm, eliminates the need for a blanket, can't be kicked off, and doesn't ride up around his face and nose.
Aden & Anais Organic Muslin Wraps::made by an Australian company. These wraps are the perfect size - they are big enough to swaddle easily and also double as nursing covers. The muslin is soft and breathable and won't block baby's nose. And it's absorbent enough to use as a bib or milk blotter when it all flows over.
Peepee Teepee::especially for boys. Little whizzers get extra protection with this nifty diaper bag must-have. Just pop it over the important area, and you can clean him up without getting christened.
Munchkin Bottle Warmer::for quicker midnight feedings. We've had to supplement breastfeeding with pumped milk, and it takes forever to get milk to the right temperature in a bowl of hot water. This bottle warmer is quick and efficient, and also sterilizes pacifiers, nipples, nipple shields - you name it.
Postpartum Compression Girdle::just for mommy. I got the idea from a friend who has 6 kids and is still the size of my little finger. She shared the postpartum girdle secret as standard protocol in her home country. And I have to say it's been a huge help already. This link isn't the exact one I have, but it's close enough.

the difference between mommies and daddies... (2)

2009-11-13T05:21:00.000-08:00

So I've continued noticing vast differences in how The Hubby and I react to baby situations. Sometimes they're so funny that I just have to share - so I've created a whole new label thread for "the difference between mommies and daddies". (Catch the first one right here.)

This morning we were eating our brown rice and apple sauce in quiet family contentment. Little Man was watching from his Boppy-bouncy-thingy on our long kitchen counter, fed and dry, cooing happily away. Until....

Pllssssphhhhhh. Phhht. Pssttttphhhhht!

Loud juicy squirts blew through the companionable silence.

I'm sitting closest to him. Waves of baby poo-smell waft over my bowl of rice and applesauce. "Oh my goodness, I can smell you already!" I said. Very mommy-style. You stink to high heaven and I'm going to change you right NOW!

"Way to GO, Little Man!" Daddy says from the other side of the table with a big thumbs-up. Very male bonding style. That was a 9.5, next time make it a little louder and juicier and we'll give you a TEN!

And THAT is the difference between mommies and daddies.

the blank slate...

2009-11-12T18:03:00.000-08:00

The other day The Hubby came into our room where I was nursing Little Man.

"I know we've talked about this before, but it really hit me this morning," he said.

"This baby is a blank slate right now. Every single thing we do - or don't do - is forming his character and shaping him into the man he will someday become. That means there is no insignificant choice, no pointless decision.

"Even though he is small and not fully aware of his surroundings yet, our habits are teaching and molding him."

Talk about profound.

Talk about frightening in the sheer weight of responsibility.

And no, I'm not wigging out. I'm not going all OCD or freaked-out legalistic. But we just can't look at this new baby and disregard the fact that his primary source of shaping will stem from the everyday decisions we make as his parents.

It's too great a reality to ignore.

on schedules and routines...

2009-11-11T15:17:00.001-08:00

So far we know the Little Man likes a routine, since he responded well to me having one even before he was born. For the first couple weeks I've just monitored his natural rhythms.

Now I'm basing a parent-directed routine on those rhythms, and hoping I can stick to it. It's posted on the frig, loaded into my iPhone's daily calendar and everything. Of course that doesn't mean we won't ever deviate, but it gives us a general guideline.

Most of all, I want to make sure that he gets enough feedings a day, with enough time between eating for adequate waketime and naptime. And that he gets a chance to naturally regulate his metabolism by having a daily rhythm where things happen generally at the same time every day.

Yup, it's extra work right now, but I think it'll pay off. Will have to let you know in a few weeks on that!

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

the difference between mommies and daddies... (1)

2009-11-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

This was the Mommy's profile photo on Facebook last week:
You know, all sweet and sappy and mother-son mushy.

This was the Hubby's profile photo at the same time:
All warrior-fighter son and father-pride.

And that pretty much says everything you need to know about the difference between mommies and daddies.

for Spartaaaaaa!

2009-11-10T18:18:00.000-08:00

In my hospital bag, I packed a length of black velvet, so we could take photos of Little Man's very first days.

You have to understand - both the Hubby and I are pretty nuts about photography. (In case you're not a friend on Facebook and haven't been subjected to our hundreds of baby pics already...) So we didn't want to let the early days go undocumented.

The other prop I brought to the hospital was this massive green stuffed frog. It belonged to the Hubby back in high school. I first met the Green Frog during Men's Dorm Open House, back in college. So the Green Frog has been around for a while.

And since frogs and monkeys (green and brown) are the animals of choice for Little Man's nursery, we necessarily needed to have a newborn photograph with the Green Frog.

I was planning something innocent, sleepy and sweet. The kind of photo that makes you go "awwww!" Maybe with Little Man draped over Green Frog's back, all limp and adorable.

You know, something kind of like this:

(Photo by Tracy Raver.)

But it didn't quite work out that way. Instead, we got this:
And this:

Slightly more 4-day-old impersonation of Gerard Butler's Spartan warrior character in "The 300" than innocent sleepy baby.

Hmmm... wonder what this portends?

on family & friends

2009-11-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

People say these days that your real family are the people you choose, not the ones you were born to.

But what if the people you choose and the ones you were born into are the same ones? Of course, there are always those friends you make who become like family - but why should they necessarily trump your own blood?

As Little Man arrived and the Hubby and I experienced a whole new spectrum of emotion, exhilaration and exhaustion - we've been incredibly blessed to have our family members nearby. My mom and dad spent nearly all day every day with us at the hospital, helping and supporting and sharing wisdom from their own experience. I don't know that you've ever seen two prouder grandparents. Dad even made a special trip to the Tractor Supply Store, JUST to find newborn-size John Deere baby socks, bright green and all!

Granddaddy & Grandmommy

And while the Hubby's family wasn't able to be there at the birth, they did come and visit after we got home. Auntie M was too tickled to stand still, and Buni (gramma) brought a beautiful handmade quilt in soft fuzzy flannel that she made for Little Man.

The Hubby & Auntie M

Both in the hospital and after we came home, friends and church members made an effort to bring food, as well. So many new mommies bring home their new babies and have to go it alone. I don't know how they do it, without the help of loved ones. And I'm so thankful for everyone's support, kindness, and love.

Y'all are AMAZING!

unexpected lessons...

2009-11-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

Last week we had family worship in the nursery. I was entrenched in the feeding process, so The Hubby brought in a stool and joined us.

For whatever reason, he decided to sing the song "Tell Me The Story of Jesus". We got to the third verse, where it says "tell of the cross where they nailed him, writhing in anguish and pain", and I couldn't sing the rest of the song.

My whole life, I've heard that song. Breezed right past the last verse. Never stopped to consider the agony behind it.

But as I stared down into the tiny little face nursing innocently away, tears poured down my cheeks,dripping off my chin and mixing with his milk. The Hubby finished the verse in solo.

What if it was HIM? What if it were MY son suffering?

For the first time, I pondered how God himself must have felt watching Jesus go through with their plan.

For me.

Wow.

sister shoutout...

2009-11-08T05:57:00.001-08:00

I've been so busy this week with just trying to accomplish the basics, that I haven't been able to get on here and blog. I tried blogging from my phone while nursing, but typing on my phone's keyboard made it so full of misspellings that I decided not to torture you.

Before any more time passes, I really need to give props to my sister for all her help. She came down the weekend of the birth to just be there and do whatever needed to be done. She even was able to give Little Man his first bath!
Then she came back for several days during the next weekend, too. She helped around the house, watched the baby while I got some sleep, and spent the entire day Friday cooking. Mexican lasagna, baked cheesy polenta with basil and tomatoes, hashbrown casserole, black beans and rice - our refrigerator was stocked for at least two weeks of hearty eating.

When I was exhausted and worried to tears about Little Man's difficulty nursing, she shared knowledge from her work as a nurse and helped me feel more confident about this new journey.

All in all, I just want her to know how great she was. Thank you, sis!

(And I promise I'll return the favor when it's your turn! ;)

things I learned from the lactation consultant...

2009-11-03T10:44:00.001-08:00

1:: amniotic fluid has the same smell as your breastmilk

2:: nipple shields are the awesomest invention ever - first try and Little Man popped right on, no fuss

3:: I can do this breastfeeding thing - really I can

4:: Little Man has gained an ounce and a half since yesterday

5:: leaning forward and hunching over for the traditional feeding hold causes tension in the fourth vertebrae where all the nipple and milk gland nerves are located

6:: my instincts are good - most of the suggestions the consultant gave were things I was already trying to do

Copyright by Sarah K Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. All rights reserved. Use by express written permission only.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

got baby brain? there's an app for that!

2009-11-03T04:28:00.001-08:00

Last week in the hospital they gave me two sheets of blue paper and told me to track Little Man's diaper changes and feedings. Writing it all down was a good idea, given the fact that I can barely remember to eat my own meals at this point.

But I thought "Surely there must be a better way to do this!"

So I went searching for some kind of app to help me keep track. After browsing several idiot programs, I found Baby Brain.

It allows profiles for multiple babies should you need them, tracks breastfeeding, bottles, diaper changes and naps. There's a handy timer for the length spent on each boob and it auto reminds you to start on opposite side for the next feeding.

In addition, you look at baby's stats for the day, week or month. And you can email them to yourself in case you want to print them off or show the pediatrician.

So far, this little app is saving my life! I use it on my iPhone, so I don't know if it's available on any other platform. But it's totally worth the $4.99 I paid.

And no, I don't get any perks from posting about it here. Other than the satisfaction of sharing a resource that might help you out, too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Copyright by Sarah K Asaftei, 2009. All rights reserved.

champ sleeper, bum feeder

2009-11-02T15:42:00.000-08:00

When it comes to sleeping, I'd say we're blessed. Little Man will sleep for 6 or 7 hours at a time if I left him to his own devices. When he's knocked out, you can dress and undress him, carry him around, play music and talk - and he'll never make a peep.

Sometimes he sleeps so long and so soundly that I check him repeatedly just to make sure he's alive and breathing! The second night, in the hospital, I jerked awake in the middle of the night just because things were so quiet. Hauled myself out of bed, C-section and all, to hobble over and make sure he was okay.

And he barks in his sleep. Like a little doggy.

After he yaps, he's quiet for a moment, and then he'll make this sucking noise and breathe normally again. I find myself waking up to his little yips and then waiting all stiff and anxious until he smacks his lips and breathes again.
Feeding on the other hand, has been a challenge. He's a lazy little bum. At first it was tough to get him to latch at all. After we got the latch down, he would only eat from the right side.

Left boob? NO WAY, MOMMY!

So after a couple days we worked through that. Now he takes both sides fine. But he's still lazy to latch. He'll just sit there with these big beautiful eyes, locked on but not sucking.

So tomorrow we have an appointment with the lactation consultant at our pediatrician's clinic. Maybe we can figure some things out....

the epistle (or... a very long update on birth, baby and coming home) (part 2)

2009-11-01T12:52:00.000-08:00

We got back to the recovery room and spent an hour and a half or so just admiring the perfect little baby in our arms.

I was so cold that my arms and hands shook uncontrollably, and my teeth were chattering so that I could hardly talk. They brought me a "bear hugger", this big plastic tube to blow hot air under the blankets, to warm me up.

I'd wanted to nurse Tristan right away, but he didn't seem very interested when I tried. Instead he wanted to just stare at all the new sights with his eyes wide open. I've never seen a baby that was so alert and bright-eyed so early!

After I was warm, and a mother-baby room had been assigned, the transporters arrived to wheel us up to the next floor. They laid baby on my chest so I could carry him on the way.

My parents and sister were waiting for us in the room, and helped us get settled in. We spent the rest of the first day staring at the baby. I felt amazingly alert and able to engage in the whole process.

The anesthesiologist used Fentanyl for the spinal block instead of the normal 24-hour narcotic shots, so my numbness wore off within an hour or two after the procedure. After that I was on Dilaudid, a patient-controlled PCA pump that I just clicked whenever I felt I needed some relief.

The first night passed quickly between feedings and little naps. I was exhausted but euphoric at the same time. A few friends dropped by for quick visits in the afternoon and evening - bringing flowers, food, and congratulations.

One friend brought this massive box of baked goodies from the Canvas Bakery. I was sad that I couldn't have any since the doctor ordered a 24-hour clear liquids diet. But everyone else enjoyed them immensely, and I snacked on the leftovers the next day. :)

On Tuesday the catheter came out and also the IV. That way I could get up and walk around if I wanted. I wanted, but the nurses wouldn't let me get too rambunctious. I spent a few hours in the rocking chair in the afternoon, and it kind of wore me out just sitting up.

the epistle (or... a very long update on birth, baby and coming home) (part 1)

2009-10-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, not so very long ago... there was a blogger who needed to get around to writing down the birth story! You know, between long feedings and short nappings and the frantic accomplishment of bare essentials in spare snatches.

Monday, October 26, 2009 was the big date on our calendar. For a variety of reasons (my severe medical allergies, size of baby, family birthing history, etc), we had decided to schedule the birth as a Cesarean section. Any birth is fraught with anxiousness, I think, especially the first time around. I was as much at peace with the decision as possible, but that doesn't erase nerves about all the unknowns.

Sunday night we re-packed the hospital bags (that had been sitting in the corner of our room since 35 weeks). I got very little sleep between baby moving and kicking most of the night, and my dreams that he would come out with his legs attached to his shoulders and his arms attached to his hips.

Or that he'd be cross-eyed.

And there was the dream where the spinal block worked from the waist up instead of the waist down, and I was knocked out for an indefinite period of time, and when I finally woke up and asked for my baby he was already the size of a small toddler. That dream was fun.

NOT.

Then I started having contractions about 4 minutes apart during the wee hours. That didn't help me sleep either.

So after an hour and a half of sleep, I got up early Monday morning to get ready. By 8:30 AM the Hubby, my sister and I were ready to rock 'n roll. We snapped a few last photos on the back porch before driving away.

The hospital wanted us to be there by 9 o'clock, but they just made us sit in the waiting room for a while anyway. My mom and sister were with us, and dad came a bit later.

Then we went back to the pre-op/recovery room.

I got all glammed up in the latest hospital gown fashion - backless and pastel blue calico - and as comfortable in the bed as a big belly can be.

Three nurses tried to set my IV, and four sticks later it was established that I have ornery veins. So we waited for an expert nurse from "hard stick" to come and do a fifth one. By the time cold IV fluids poured into my bloodstream, I had band-aids on several places along my forearms and wrists.

Hubby got all dressed up in scrubs, hat and mask, and they rolled my bed to the Operating Room to get started. The OR was FREEZING, and they made Hubby wait outside until the anesthesiologist got me all numbed up.

They sat me on the edge of the operating table - which was about as wide as a 6 foot long pencil - and a nurse came over to me. "Put your hands on my shoulders and hunch forward," she said. I made some crack about them wanting me to hunch forward around a watermelon and just how exactly was that supposed to be possible?

At this moment I started thinking to myself, "Did I make the right decision?" The freezing operating room seemed overwhelmingly cold and unfriendly, and I felt suddenly and deeply alone. I wanted to cry and wished the Hubby was there beside me.

Then the anesthesiologist was there. "Three cold sponges," he said, and then "Two little sticks", and then my legs started to go all numb and tingly. They laid me back and stretched my arms out onto extenders like I was about to be crucified. Then they clipped a blue paper drape across my chest so that I couldn't see the action.

The table tilted back and then I felt my legs being plopped onto the table cross-legged Indian style so they could insert the catheter.

"No claims for modesty in here!" was all I could think. And, "Couldn't they do that under a drape or something?" No such luck.

A moment later Marius was standing beside me holding my hand and the doctor was asking me "Sarah, are we hurting you?" I didn't even know they'd started! After a bit I felt them wrestling and tugging in my belly, and the anesthesiologist started a snatchy narration of the events.

"He's got a really big head!"
"Lots of hair!"

It felt like elephants dancing on my stomach as the doctor and a few nurses tried to grasp him. Apparently he kept turning sideways to escape his liberators, and they had to suction his head to get him out! Who wants to leave behind the custom-made resort with indoor pool and 24-hour buffet, anyway?

"Slow and steady wins the race."
"Here he comes, here he comes!"

The doctor stuck him up over the curtain so that I could see before he got toweled off. He was bloody and gloppy, and the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Huge gray almond-shaped eyes, a head of wavy black hair and the brightest pink little arms.

It took a minute for him to cry, and then he screamed like a future singer (or preacher, depending on your point of view). Hubby got to cut the cord, and a nurse held the video camera to record the moment.

Hubby was crying so hard his shoulders were shaking, as the nurses toweled baby off and swaddled him. By that time they were done stitching me up, and I was rolled off the skinny table and back onto the transport bed. Then they brought me my son, and laid him on my chest.

I couldn't stop crying. All I could see was his perfect little face, with those massive bambi eyes looking up at me. He was calm and quiet, staring curiously at the big bright world. I choked on the sobs of wonder as I stared at this miracle that had just come from my body.

Enraptured.

This was the miracle that had kept me sick for nearly 8 months with all-day nausea. This was the miracle that kept me up so many nights with swift strong kicks and flutters and rolling tumbles up where my lungs used to breathe.

And it all melted away.

lullaby video...

2009-10-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

This beautiful lullaby, Noapte Buna, is sung by Cleopatra Stratan. She is 7 years old and the language is Romanian.

seen on a t-shirt...

2009-10-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

It's hard to be a woman.
One must think like a man,
Behave like a lady,
Look like a young girl,
And work like a HORSE!

the changes that come...

2009-10-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

... when you embark on the parenting journey are unmistakable.

As a friend and I laughed the other day: getting pregnant means that the wife goes crazy and the husband grows up!

with all these babies...

2009-10-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

... the Hubby was going through friends on Facebook the other day and noting how many boys have been born this year. Seems like we've got friends having a new baby every single week since last spring!

(And yes, despite the morbid predictions by Target Lady in yesterday's post - almost all of them are boys!)

A vast majority of these new parents all attended Southern Adventist University as well. Which means that in about 18 years, it's possible that a couple dozen of our friend's sons will be invading the SAU campus as college freshmen.

While most of us in this new-parent group are scattered around the continent, I really do hope that our Munchkin can have some of these boys as his childhood friends somehow. It'll make the 2027 freshman orientation at SAU just that much more fun.

Hmmm, come to think about it - all those pastor's kids invading the poor school at the same time? Yikes. The men's dorm might never be the same again!

Should somebody warn the school?

on specimens and such...

2009-10-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

So we had the last doctor's appointment today, and as usual the nurse took me to get weighed and measured (makes me kinda sound like a side of beef, doesn't it?).

Then she asked me, like every time, to step around the corner into the bathroom and leave a full little cup in the shelf behind the tiny door in the wall.

At this clinic, they don't have proper specimen cups. Just regular white styrofoam ones, with a pen by the sink. You're supposed to write your name on the cup, fill it up, and then leave it for the nurse behind that little magic door. Not rocket science, right?

Unless you're me. For the second time in the last three months, I walked in, shut and locked the door. Grabbed a cup and the pen, sat down while dutifully writing my name on the cup as legibly as possible. And then realized there was nothing left to go in the cup.

Nice.

Reach over and turn the faucet to a noisy trickle.

Think watery thoughts.

Berate myself for not being able to manufacture more pee when it's actually needed. Because, honestly, I could fill more than this stupid little cup at any given moment of the rest of the day. Just not right now.

Ignore the next pregnant lady knocking on the door cause I've taken so long.

Finally settle for placing the cup behind the door with approximately 7 drops of "specimen". Reach over and shut off the pointlessly trickling faucet. Take five more minutes to get the maternity jeans, long tank top, maternity shirt and everything else tucked back into place.

Wash hands.

Find the funny in it all. Cackle loudly to myself all the way out the door, down the hall, and into the exam room.

Stop cackling long enough to ask the nurse, "Uhh, ma'am, if you need more..."

"Don't worry," she cuts me off as though she knows EXACTLY what I'm going to say. "Just a couple drops'll do. The doctor will be right with you."

Get cackling under control before doctor arrives. Not aiming for the lunatic diagnosis. At least not today...

Who knows, maybe next time?

does it seem to you like...

2009-10-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

... there are just a WHOLE LOT of baby boys being born this year? Nearly every couple we know has had or is having a son.

As you may already know, by 9.5 months everybody you meet thinks it's their business to inquire about the baby. Strangers ask you when you're planning to "pop". Last week some random (and very talkative) lady in Target also wanted to know the gender.

"It's a boy", I replied, slightly scattered between trying to find some elusive jumbo waterproof changing pads, and still managing to be polite.

"A BOY!" She crowed. "All the babies this year are boys! You know, my gramma always said that when everyone has boy babies, there's gonna be a war. She said it was God's way of preparing armies for when they're needed."

Nice, lady. I really want to hear that God is giving me my son so that he can go die in a war in 20 years. Do you realize you're implying that I'm having a son for the sole purpose of being either bullet fodder or a killing machine?

Way to go.

really can't wait...

2009-10-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

So lately I haven't exactly been overwhelmed with things to do every day. Which is good given the fact that I waddle and haven't been getting an ideal ration of sleep. It's definitely a departure from my "normal" daily routine when doing dishes, folding a little laundry, taking a walk, and getting a shower feels like a productive day!

But I really can't wait for this little guy to get here. Can't wait to see what he looks like, get to know his personality, take care of him.

Sometimes I sit and wonder what he'll be like. Will he have hair? Will his eyes be green like my dad's? Who will he look like?

Just a few more days....

preggo products::the STRETCH MARK LOTION

2009-10-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

the STRETCH MARK LOTION

★★★★★
Palmer's Cocoa Butter Massage Lotion for Stretch Marks

They say that stretch marks are largely genetic, but I don't know how accurate it is. I do know that doctor's say it's easier to prevent stretch marks than to remove them. So keeping the skin hydrated and elastic is a super good idea.

PROS: I haven't got one stretch mark yet. Started using this lotion daily around 4 months along, and kept it up ever since. Not greasy or heavy, and doubles nicely as a massage lotion when my feet get swollen.

CONS: None that I can think of. Although it could smell nicer....

focusing on the good stuff...

2009-10-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

Driving away from my last prenatal appointment, I asked myself "Why does it seem that every single aspect of this journey has had to be so complicated and frustrating?"

Because really, when you come away from every doctor's appointment next to tears or wanting to punch something - it really can't be a healthy relationship, right?

So I thought about it for a while. And to be honest, (since there's no baby here yet to be crowing over) it seemed like this entire experience has just been one stressful and disappointing frustration after another. For a long time I couldn't think of anything to feel positive about - not physically, not emotionally, not mentally, and certainly not medically.

But then I remembered reading on Facebook the other day about a girl in the Atlanta area who's been having terrible complications from pneumonia and her family's been worried sick about her chances of survival. In addition, her baby came at 28 weeks while she was sedated in the hospital. (See Prayers For Niki if you'd like to add her to your prayer list!)

Things could be worse.

I decided I need to make a list of the good things. Something to make me feel happier even when my doctors are making me see red. Here goes:

Baby is healthy - so healthy that he's three weeks ahead of size (if you trust the doctor's estimated due date, which I don't - but that's neither here nor there at this point)
I'm healthy - been miserably sick for 9 months, but it's nothing that can't be fixed by getting the baby here
Hubby is thrilled - it's pretty cute to see him dance on tippy toes and shiver with excitement when he thinks about seeing his son
Our marriage has grown even stronger - despite my being more physically and emotionally high-maintenance than I've ever imagined I could be, Hubby has been amazingly patient and supportive and enduring. And the whole experience has brought us closer even through the stress and challenges. To me, this is the best one on the list.

preggo products::the BODY PILLOW

2009-10-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

the BODY PILLOW

I've used two different body pillows during this pregnancy. I highly recommend finding one that works for you - it'll be an incredible help with back and joint pain and definitely increases sleep comfort.

★★★☆☆
Boppy Total Body Pillow

Hubby scored MAJOR POINTS for bringing this home!

PROS: It was great from 22 to 28 weeks. After that, I just got too big for it - hence 3 of 5 stars.

CONS: Not enough belly support. Also, it was a real pain to roll over when I needed to take a break and sleep on my other side.

★★★★★
ComfortU Body Pillow

A friend lent this to me for the last couple of months. She's an angel!

PROS: Can sleep on both sides without moving the pillow. Good support. Not soft, not too firm.

CONS: Upper part for the neck is a little big. I fixed that by just flipping the pillow upside down and using my own pillow instead. Makes it even easier to get up for the bathroom because the ends are movable.

preggo products::the WEDGE

2009-10-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

the WEDGE

my rating:
★★★★☆

It's a lifesaver, if you ask me. As things get bigger and heavier and more sleepless, I've really appreciated this creative pillow.

PROS:
Nobody tells you that from about 8 months onward you're going to feel like your hips are getting yanked out of joint and that your back is being twisted on a ringer when you lie on your side. Especially if you have a big baby inside!

CONS:
This one, from Babies R Us, is a little hard and stiff. Could be a bit softer and more flexible foam.

the pediatrician hunt...

2009-10-14T07:22:00.000-07:00

... has been frustrating.

Just like I'm hoping to avoid being shot up with too many drugs myself, we'd like to avoid packing lots and lots of shots into our baby all at once.

I'm not being unreasonable radical here regarding vaccinations, but given our family history of allergic reactions - I think it's smart to not load up an infant with so many shots at once that there's no way to tell what caused an allergy. Should there be one, of course. But let's stay on the safe side, shall we?

Annoyingly, Georgia pediatricians don't seem to be very flexible on these kinds of things. I've been interviewing several pediatricians for weeks now, and getting that same glazed response that I feel from my own doctors.

I finally found a midwife office and called to see if they had any recommendations. Per usual, they still haven't called me back.

i really despise...

2009-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

... that feeling you get when you're trying to communicate with someone and it's obvious that they're not even paying attention.

Especially when that "someone" is your doctor.

The last four or five times I've been to my doctor's office, I've come away feeling just "this close" to sitting down and bawling my eyes out. Come to think of it, I actually HAVE sat down and cried a couple of times. It's like there's this huge disconnect between what I'm trying to say, and what they are hearing. And they don't even pretend to care.

When I say that I'm allergic to a host of medicines and that I quickly become allergic to any new ones - I mean that I'm concerned about chugging my body full of drugs because I know what happens next. And doctor, when you sit there and tell me that you're "pretty sure" that all my concerns aren't legitimate, it's not exactly comforting.

Last week I talked to my doctor about my severe allergies to various medications, and my concern about having an allergic reaction during labor. Particularly since I'm also allergic to Benadryl - which is what they'd normally give to stop an allergic response.

His reply?

"Hey, if you're going to go into anaphylactic shock, there's no better place to be than in the hospital!"

Are you kidding me? What are you going to do, shoot me up with Epinephrine (the only thing that still works for me) while I'm in labor? Do you not get that I'm trying to avoid triggering an allergic reaction? This is not about picking the best venue. It's about not going there at all!

I'd hoped that the other doctor I was scheduled to see this morning would be more willing to at least make me feel like he's listening. But no, didn't happen. It was like he was irritated with me before he even walked in.

If we still live in this area and there's a "next time around", I'm finding a new doctor. Someone who treats me like a human being who has a brain.

End of discussion.

you're my cuppycake...

2009-10-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

There are lots of versions of this song on the internet, but it seems that this is the very original one from 1994. So cute I had to share it!

Just one question: how exactly do you spell pumpyumpyumpykin? :)

oh the depths to which we sink...

2009-10-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

I used to look askance at those waddling pregnant women who allowed themselves to go out in public in just housewear.

"How could they voluntarily embarrass themselves like that?" I'd roll my eyes. Swore I'd never be caught dead in public wearing a bathrobe or other grungy attire. Just because it's comfortable doesn't mean you should be seen in it!

Until yesterday.

I'd just driven home from visiting my sister. Had to take some stuff over to my parents' house. Gas tank almost empty. Gotta fill up - wouldn't want to go into labor with a car that's running on fumes.

Stopped at the station. Hopped out. Scratch that - LUMBERED out to pump the gas.

And looked down at myself.

I am HER. That ubiquitous waddling pregnant chick who never bothered to properly dress this morning. I'm wearing a black shirt, stretchy black yoga pants, and big fluffy white house slippers. AND I HAVE THAT HIDEOUS (but amazingly helpful) WHITE BELLY SUPPORT BELT ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY SHIRT.

At least it matches my fluffy house slippers.

I am THAT chick.

But honestly, what did I know back then when I was rolling my eyes at other women? Back then, I could still reach down and touch my own feet. Heck, back then I could still SEEEE my own feet.

I could walk without feeling like a hippopotamus. I could run if I wanted, bend in half to plug something into the wall, roll out of bed without needing the Hubby to haul me upright first. All those magical abilities that childless/never been pregnant woman take completely for granted.

Yeah. What did I know?

POP GOES THE CERVIX (sketches::5)

2009-09-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

This is the last in a series of five humorous sketches on pregnancy, by my friend Adel Torres. Adel and her pastor-husband brought home their first child, a baby boy, just last week. She sketched these during her time in the hospital, and gave me permission to post them here.

You can read about Adel's art, mission trips, and pregnancy journey on her blog: This Journey, My Home.

BEFORE TRAMPOLINES (sketches::4)

2009-09-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

This is the fourth in a series of five humorous sketches on pregnancy, by my friend Adel Torres. Adel and her pastor-husband brought home their first child, a baby boy, just last week. She sketched these during her time in the hospital, and gave me permission to post them here.

You can read about Adel's art, mission trips, and pregnancy journey on her blog: This Journey, My Home.

ALL-NIGHT GYMNASTICS (sketches::3)

2009-09-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

This is the third in a series of five humorous sketches on pregnancy, by my friend Adel Torres. Adel and her pastor-husband brought home their first child, a baby boy, just last week. She sketched these during her time in the hospital, and gave me permission to post them here.

You can read about Adel's art, mission trips, and pregnancy journey on her blog: This Journey, My Home.

KARATE KID (sketches::2)

2009-09-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is the second in a series of five humorous sketches on pregnancy, by my friend Adel Torres. Adel and her pastor-husband brought home their first child, a baby boy, just last week. She sketched these during her time in the hospital, and gave me permission to post them here.

You can read about Adel's art, mission trips, and pregnancy journey on her blog: This Journey, My Home.

VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE (sketches::1)

2009-09-22T06:37:00.000-07:00

This is the first in a series of five humorous sketches on pregnancy, by my friend Adel Torres. Adel and her pastor-husband brought home their first child, a baby boy, just last week. She sketched these during her time in the hospital, and gave me permission to post them here.

You can read about Adel's art, mission trips, and pregnancy journey on her blog: This Journey, My Home.

Wal-Mart gigglefest...

2009-09-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what weeks of sleep-deprivation will do to you. Like last Friday afternoon, when I went into Wal-Mart to get groceries. I walked through the front door, nodded at the little old greeter lady sitting by the door. She grinned and waved, and I was suddenly reminded of a joke someone sent me recently:

A little old geezer got a job at Wal-Mart. On his first day he was instructed to greet all the shoppers that came through the door. After a few hours, a big ugly woman came thundering through the door cussing up a blue streak at her two young children.

"Hello ma'am, welcome to Wal-Mart! Those are beautiful kids you have there - are they twins?"

"What the blankety bleep bleep makes you think they're twins? This one's 9 and that one's 5! Do they bleeping LOOK LIKE TWINS TO YOU?"

"Oh no ma'am, not really. I just couldn't imagine anyone sleeping with you twice, that's all. Enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart!"

His manager said he wasn't really cut out for this line of work...

As the little lady greeted us at the door, I couldn't help laughing to myself. By the time I got to the produce section I was giggling uncontrollably. The guy stocking the bin of onions chuckled along with me. But I wasn't able to stop.

Before long, the initial laughter at a mildly funny joke had morphed into hysterical giggles. I wanted to stop, but couldn't. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I bent double over the lettuce and cucumbers. A young woman pushing a cart with a small baby stopped to ask "Lady, are you alright?"

It was several minutes before I could breathe normally again. I don't think it'd have happened if I'd gotten more than an average of 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night for the past month.

But hey, after all those positive endorphins - I sure did feel better!

reversing the un-glow effect...

2009-09-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

Lots of women get that pregnancy "glow". Just this weekend a friend was telling me how during her pregnancy she got thick gorgeous hair, strong luxurious nails, perfect skin and so on. But some of us get the opposite - the acne outbreaks, the dry red scaly patches, the odd discolorations.

I'll admit I didn't the whole glow thing. In fact this pregnancy has taken a fierce toll on my skin - facial and elsewhere. Like flaky dermatitis, unexplained red patches and painful pimples on my face, legs and feet, for starters.

But last month during my scheduled orthodontics appointment, I happened to kill some time in the Day One Spa in the same building. They carry a variety of totally natural organic skin care products. And, in a desire to jumpstart the lethargic state of my poor face, I ordered a detox travel kit.

A week later, my Eminence organic Hungarian skin care kit arrived. The little instruction brochure inside promised that my skin would look and feel different after "just one application."

Yeah, sure... I thought. Every product claims that, doesn't mean it's reality!

I decided to start out with the exfoliating polisher and masque. That evening Hubby met me for dinner and commented on how nice my face looked. Then I told him I wasn't wearing any foundation.

"No way, really?"

I've been using this stuff faithfully ever since. For once it seems that a company's claim is actually close to the truth. At least for my skin.

In case you're wondering, I receive no compensation/free gifts/other perks from blogging about this product. Just wanted to share it with you since it's been a big help for my skincare.

34 weeks and counting...

2009-09-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

flash forward...

2009-09-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a brief mental picture of the future. You have to understand - my husband is one of the most stylish and best-dressed men that I know. But when he comes into the privacy of his home, he and even the most comfortable of his clothes are swiftly parted.

Yesterday evening we went to pick up my new eyeglasses. Then we ate some supper. Then we came home. I stopped in the kitchen to put something away, and by the time I made it into the bedroom he had already shucked down to the essentials.

I stood there for a moment, adoring this man who has held my heart for more than eight years. And suddenly I had this mental image of our son about 3 years from now. I can imagine that every time I think I've got him dressed for the day, he'll manage to remove all his clothes by the time I turn back around.

Or maybe he'll keep them on until just before the doorbell rings, and then strip down while I'm not looking, just in time to beat me to the front door and stun the unfortunate guest with a huge impish grin and an eyeful of little boy.

Oh yes, I can just see him now. Little white teeth and big brown eyes flashing as he looks up at them with all the charm he can muster.

"Hi!!!! You wanna come in?" Then he swivels his little head and calls out, "Mommy!!! Somebody from church is at the door!"

Yup, life in this pastor's house is about to get fun!

book review:: "Baby Signing"

2009-09-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

Baby Signing 123
by Nancy Cadjan

Several years ago I knew a young mother who taught her infant son sign language. Not fluent conversational signing, but a few signs so that they could communicate together. By about 8 months old, he could ask for "More, please!", say "Thank you" and so on.

I never gave signing much thought until pondering the various ways to communicate with my own soon-coming child. Then it became an interesting subject.

After browsing a number of websites and perusing the shelves of Borders Books, I settled on Baby Signing 123.

Nancy Cadjan, creator of Sign Babies ASL Flash Cards, writes about the benefits of signing with your baby, as well as giving clear and simple drawings of nearly 300 signs and their uses. For instance, did you know:

speech abilities for children who signed as babies far exceed those of non-signing babies, both in grammatical/sentence structure and vocabulary
IQs of signing children average significantly higher than those who didn't sign, as late as the age of 8
signing children tend to naturally speak and read earlier than non-signing children
babies who sign show the same kind of increased brain activity as children who grow up bilingual from infancy
teaching your baby to sign can help to alleviate frustration as they enter toddlerhood because they can communicate basic thoughts/questions/desires before they can even speak

Cadjan also describes how to introduce signing at different ages, and illustrates gentle interactive ways to increase communication with baby. She tells lots of stories about families who used signing in a wide variety of ways, to help the reader get a clear picture of how signing might fit into their family.

Granted, this review is based on my pre-parenting impressions of course, and I'm sure that I'll want to add post-reviews based on my experience using the actual information. But for the sake of information, I loved the book. Whether or not I can recommend it remains to be seen until I've put some of the information into practice. But I'll keep you posted.

Have any of you signed with your babies? How did it go? Do tell...

why I plan to raise my kids in the country...

2009-09-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

should I cut my hair like this?

2009-09-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

So... they always say not to make any major decisions in late pregnancy. And "they" are probably totally right.

But I can't help myself. I'm just so sick and tired of the same-old same old. I want something new.

Today's daydream? Should I cut my hair kind of like this? I'm thinking sleek shoulder length bob, a little shorter in the back and longer in the front. But with sideswept bangs and a side part.

Thoughts, dear readers?

...this kind of angle from front to back...

this length - touching the shoulders

this kind of side part, keeping my side bangs

Leave me comments!!!!
(pretty please?)

new books - yay!

2009-08-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

So, like any good parents-to-be, we've been doing lots of pre-baby reading. I'm glad to have a husband who's willing to read right along with me so that we're both well-informed. Our current reading list includes:

Baby Signing 123, by Nancy Cadjan (I'm working through this one - great stuff!)

On Becoming BabyWise, by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam (finished it, Hubby's currently halfway through)

And just today, our next list arrived in the mail:

Boys Should be Boys, by Meg Meeker

That's My Son: How Mom's Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character, by Rick Johnson (Sorry, couldn't find a photos of this one, but it looks fascinating...)

Got a few more coming... but haven't arrived yet.

sprucing up Munchkin's room...

2009-08-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

The Hubby has been hard at work (under excellent supervision) adding final touches to Munchkin's room. Here's a peek of his/our handiwork:

this is the chair i was rocked in as a baby, recovered to keep it updated, but love the family heirloom!

what would you like to confess?

2009-08-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

This morning we had our 31 week prenatal checkup. Results:

- baby's head is already down and in a good position
- heart rate of 155 bpm
- wiggly and squirmy - very good
- mommy has gained a total of 24 pounds
- no more bleeding or other complications
- not eating lots of sugar or bad junkie calories
- still got nausea - bummer
- sleeping better than two weeks ago - yippeeeeeee

"You get A's all the way down my checklist," says the doctor. "You can't be that good all the time. So what would you like to confess?"

Uhhhh.

i know you're cheap, but does that give you the right to be rude?

2009-08-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know AirTran is famous for their low fares, high bag fees, and nonexistent service standards (without even the humor that SouthWest offers to balance out the cheap). But just because I'm willing to fly cheap doesn't mean I want to be treated like an idiot.

So we were flying home from a weekend in Chicago, and we'd already had a full day of travel. (Think: 1 hour by car, 1.5 hours by train, board the plane, deboard the plane, board again...)

You might guess correctly that my 30-week-preggo-hormonal patience level was wearing thin by this point.

We reach "cruising altitude" (whatever that is), and the second the little orange seatbelt light dings off, I'm popping up for a potty stop. We're in row 20, and there's only 30 rows in the plane. So obviously I start for the rear restroom. Except I'm waved off by a grim stewardess mouthing "You'll have to go to the front!"

Gotta pee. Gotta pee.

FINE. I'll hike 20 rows to the front. No problem. It's vacant... Until I'm 5 rows back and someone else scoots in front of me.

The pilot makes an intercom announcement that the FAA does not allow any congregating or forming lines for the lavatories. I ignore him. There's no way I'm going TWENTY rows back to my seat. Especially now that a line is actually forming behind me of other people who want to potty too!

Gotta pee. Gotta pee.

Five minutes pass. I hear a flush from inside the little room. Good, any moment now...

Nope. Not yet. Another five minutes squeaks by. Another flush. More silence and nobody comes out. I debate knocking politely on the door to let them know that people are waiting out here. I mean, there wasn't anybody in line when they went in - so maybe they're just staring in the mirror popping their pimples or something. Maybe they don't know people are waiting...

I'll wait a little longer. Gotta pee. Gotta pee.

Five more minutes. A third flush. No one comes out. You've got to be kidding me! Okay, this pregnant chick has really REALLY gottta pee!!!

I'm mentally debating the potentially adverse effects of just going right here in the front row of business class. Hmmm, but that might get me banned from flying these friendly skies. Rather skip that possible repercussion. What's a girl to do?

I finally reach over and knock.

Tap. Tap. Tap. (Okay, maybe it was a little harder than tapping... but honestly, if it were me, and I were in there giving myself a facial while some hapless passenger did the potty dance outside, I'd want to know that I was holding up the line.)

Like magic, a flight attendant pops his head from around the kitchen area with a big scowl.

"Lady, you can't do that!!!" he snaps. Like I'd just tampered with a smoke detector or something truly horrendous.

"Excuse me?" I asked, turning sideways in case he'd missed my belly.

"It doesn't matter if you're pregnant, you can't rush the person in there," he bellowed. "I wouldn't let someone knock on the door if YOU were in there!!!!"

"If I were thoughtlessly holding up a bathroom line for 15 minutes, I certainly HOPE you'd knock on the door and let me know people were waiting!" I replied.

Remind me, since when did knocking on a bathroom door become a federal offense? Of course, there are so many new offenses these days, I may have missed one or two.

"You still can't do that, lady!!" he snipped back.

Dude calm down. I'm not a terrorist. I'm just a pregnant chick who really needs to pee. Take a Valium and sign up for a customer service refresher course. There is no bomb. This is not an emergency. Although if you keep preventing me from getting to the toilet, the mess on the floor might reach disastrous proportions!

The lady inside finally exited, meandering out without any apology or air of concern.

I rushed inside. Navigating a belly belt, maternity jeans AND my belly, I was still out in under a minute and a half.

Back at my seat, the rude attendant strolled by and paused, with the repeated comment that "you really can't do that to people". Right. But apparently it's perfectly acceptable for you to beleaguer me about it?

Then he offered me a beverage. I could hardly keep a straight face.

"No, thank you, sir. I believe that if I accept a beverage, I might actually need to use your restroom again. And we obviously wouldn't want THAT!"

Sheesh.

sleep? what's that?...

2009-08-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

And there's still two and a half months to go before Munchkin arrives.

Oh goody.

For the past two weeks I've been waking up several times a night. This week it's gotten downright unbearable. No baby to nurse yet, no diapers to change. Constant exhaustion and mental sludge.

You'd think I'd be napping like CRAZY.

Nope. Not this delighted insomniac.

Every morning I'm wide awake in the wee hours (in addition to several other times throughout the night, not counting about five sleepwalking trips to the potty every night). Today I actually went to the office and started writing on my work projects at 3 AM. Anything's better than staring for hours at a black ceiling. Especially when you're too big and awkward to toss and turn to help the hours pass by.

I suppose I should console myself that I got massive amounts of work accomplished before the sun came up. Yay for me.

But then I just glanced in the mirror and got reminded that my zit-face is back en force.

Self-congratulation ended.

I think it's been about three years since I found out I was pregnant. But I might should double check the calendar to be sure.

ummmm...

2009-08-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Five minutes ago I had a really great blog post in mind. Then I got out of the shower and by the time I got to my laptop the idea went POOF!

BLEH.

by special request::NO FAIL GLUTEN STEAKS & GRAVY

2009-07-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

SARAH'S EASY GLUTEN STEAKS 
(this is a no-fail recipe if you follow it!)
 

You Need:
extra large/deep soup pot
large skillet for frying (or 2 medium ones)
3 medium to large mixing bowls
blender
water
soy sauce or Bragg's Liquid Aminos
walnuts
nutritional yeast flakes
quick oats
onion powder
crushed garlic (or garlic powder)
goya adobo seasoning (whichever is your favorite)
vital wheat gluten flour
unbleached white flour
bread crumbs
cornstarch
white onion
jar of alfredo sauce (if you like white gravy, if not, skip this)

Start Your Broth:
3 quarts water
1/2 - 3/4 cup soy sauce or Bragg's aminos

Start water to boil in extra large pot, add soy sauce or aminos to water.

Start Your Steaks:
1 ¾ cup very warm water
½ cup walnut pieces
¼ cup nutritional yeast flakes
¼ cup quick oats
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon fresh crushed garlic (or garlic powder)

Put all ingredients into blender. Blend on high until liquid is smooth and silky. Pour into medium/large mixing bowl.

Stir in quickly and thoroughly, all at once:
2 ¼ cup vital wheat gluten flour

Work the dough quickly into a log. (NOTE: If you knead or stir it too much it will get hard and tough and will ruin the texture of your steaks.)

Let the log rest 10 minutes. You can wrap it in plastic wrap or parchment paper to prevent drying out, and place it in the refrigerator if you like.

Slice the log into ½ inch rounds, then press them by hand into larger steaks. They will significantly expand in the broth, so don't cut them too thick or they'll be massive.

Drop them into your now-boiling broth. Turn broth to medium and let simmer 45 minutes to 1 hour. You will need to repeatedly press steaks back under the broth.

Take pot off the burner and let them cool in the pot a bit. Then either drain the pot into a colander (saving all the broth underneath the colander for your gravy!), OR lift steaks out one by one and place on wire racks over cookie sheets to catch the drips. Let cool and dry out for 30 minutes.

Start Your Frying:
Heat oil in skillet(s) on medium heat.

Mixing bowl #1:
1 cup flour
1 cup bread crumbs
½ teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon adobo seasoning (optional)
(you can also add other favorite seasonings: dried dill, cumin, pepper etc, depending on the flavors you like )

Mixing bowl #2:
4-5 beaten eggs

Dip each steak in eggs and then dredge in flour mixture.

Fry the steaks in skillet until golden brown on each side. Let cool.

When last of steaks are fried, slice one white onion and grill quickly in remaining oil.

Ways to Serve:
Casserole with brown gravy:
Bring 2 quarts of leftover broth to a rolling boil. Take 3 tablespoons of very cold water and mix thoroughly with 1-2 heaping spoons of cornstarch. Whisk starch mixture into broth and keep stirring until thickens. If necessary, add a cornstarch a second time to thicken.

When cooled, arrange in casserole dish, top with grilled onions and pour thickened brown gravy over everything.

Casserole with white gravy:
Take 1 jar of alfredo sauce and whisk with one equal jar of water.
When cooled, arrange in casserole dish, top with grilled onions and pour white gravy over everything.

Main dish :
Serve freshly fried steaks with mashed potatoes and gravy and steamed vegetables on the side.

Sandwiches:
Save leftover steaks (without gravy) for sandwiches with mayo and tomato.

OTHER OPTIONS:
Steaks can be frozen and thawed for later meals, or will keep several days in the refrigerator.

by special request::WATERMELON ICEES

2009-07-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

SARAH'S WATERMELON ICEES

1 watermelon
2 litres of ginger ale
1 melon baller
5-8 freezer bags
1 blender
1 hot day

Use a melon baller (mine looks like this>>>)
to make little balls out of a medium to large watermelon.

Place the little balls in 1 quart freezer bags, arranged so that there is only one layer of balls. This helps your freezer bags stack nice and flat in the freezer, and also makes it a cinch to get break the balls apart and get them out after freezing.

Let freeze at least overnight.

Pour 2 cups of ginger ale into blender. Add 6-8 frozen melon balls, blend until slushy. Keep adding ginger ale and melon balls until blender is half full with mixture.

Pour into serving pitcher.

Repeat blending process until you have desired amount.

NOTE: Three 1 quart freezer bags of melon balls (about one quarter of a medium watermelon), blended with 2 (2-litre) ginger ales,
will make enough ICEE to fill 8 water goblets.
If your guests will want seconds, make more! :)

on appropriate churchwear for kids (part 3)...

2009-07-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

So....

As a result of these convictions (see two past posts, "on appropriate churchwear for kids, parts 1 & 2"), and a desire to make Sabbath as special and exciting as possible for the entire family, I've been browsing the internet for dressy baby and toddler boy's outfits.

Talk about sticker shock!

Do normal people really pay THAT much? I mean, hey, I love being well-dressed but I've got no embarrassment over finding my killer outfits at Goodwill or TJ Maxx!

When you're used to finding the occasional $800 BCBG silk women's suit for just $9.79, the idea of paying $140 for a infant dress suit that will be wearable for a window of perhaps 5-8 weeks is simply appalling.

(And we haven't even mentioned the fact that while there a oodles of beautiful little girl clothes available, it's practically impossible to find appealing and age-appropriate boys' clothes.)

So I've been browsing for affordable dressy boyswear. And since there's a chance that some of you might share my opinions - I decided to share a few links featuring less expensive yet beautiful outfits. Here's a few of my favorites:

And if you'd like to see websites themselves, check out these for a range of options for both boys' and girls' churchwear:

http://www.bestdressedchild.com/: Beautiful Eton suits, and dressy rompers or shortalls, some suits as low as $19.99 if you look at the sale items
http://www.theperfectpear.com/: Eton suits and baby boy outfits (see side menu for collections), these are a bit more expensive, so click HERE to see their clearance items, including several under $30.00
http://www.nancyaugust.com/: Handsome suits and outfits for boys and toddlers, ranging from $24.50 to $50.00
http://www.magickidsusa.com/: Variety of suits and vest suits between $14.00 and $30.00
http://www.dapperlads.com/: Vintage dressywear, holiday outfits, and casual dressy (think miniature golfers with argyle vests!), from $20.00 to $50.00

Got any other cool sites? Leave a comment!

on appropriate churchwear for kids (part 2)...

2009-07-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

If we really are willing to make our Sabbath dates with God special, then we might have to add a little weekly effort into our lifestyle routine. It's something the bible talks about, getting ready for Sabbath in advance so that our entire day is free to just EXIST in God's presence without any distraction.

For us, that means getting EVERYTHING ready before Sabbath begins. Cooking, house cleaning, laundry, clothing ironed and shoes shined, all secular magazines or distractions put away - and so on.

Sound like a drag? But it's NOT!

For some people, Sabbath is a day of boredom and lethargy. A day of "don't's". But it doesn't have to be.

Sabbath can be the best day of the week. The most exciting. The one day looked forward to with the most eager anticipation.

How?

Make it extraordinary and desirable on every level:

special favorite foods that you don't get on other days, prepared in advance so that the work is as little as possible.
sparkling clean house where everybody wants to hang out, because it smells nice and candles are glowing.
most exciting (spiritually appropriate) games or hobbies or activities, that are off-limits during the week so that sabbath is looked forward to.
spend time with family and friends that you can't connect with during the week.
and having very best clothes ready ahead of time, so that you feel your prettiest or best-looking of the entire week.

When you build up the anticipation, mentioning every day of the week that the Sabbath is coming soon, and reminding your kids regularly of all the wonderful things that will happen on God's special day ~ they can't help but buy into your enthusiasm.

And part of that is centered in how they feel about themselves. Looking their best plays into that. Knowing that they've worked hard to get ready for going to meet God on a beautiful date is a way to help them feel excited and thrilled about the romance of belonging to Jesus.

That's why I think babies and children should be dressed in extra special outfits every weekend for church. It elevates Sabbath to something tangibly more important than just a nice outing to a ball game, or any other regular day. It attaches something specially reverent to the day itself.

It helps in making Sabbath a day of beauty.