10 Symptoms Common to Both New Motherhood and Insanity

>> Sunday, June 7, 2009

1. In the shower, you keep turning off the tap because the water sounds like screaming.


2. You lose the ability to conjugate (e.g. “Good job! You eated a whole bunch!”)


3. You no longer recognize your own given name, speak for other humans as if they are ventriloquist's dummies, and say “thank you!” when other people are complemented on their looks.


4. The sleeves on every shirt in your house are either folded over or sewn shut.


5. You think it's perfectly normal for a person to need to be wrapped tightly in a blanket with their limbs restrained in order to sleep.


6. You've been recently hospitalized and you were happy about it.


7. You have recently either willingly: let someone near you with a scalpel, let someone videotape you while naked in a bathtub, or let someone hold a mirror up to your privates in public.


8. Whether or not there are tears running down your cheeks is not a reliable indication of your actual current emotional state.


9. You regularly stare at feces to try to figure out what it is trying to tell you and see nothing wrong with in-depth analysis of such as a cornerstone of every dinner conversation.


10. You think others are only capable of breathing if you stare at them while they sleep.


Credit to: MomtrolFreak.com

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