i really despise...

>> Tuesday, October 13, 2009

... that feeling you get when you're trying to communicate with someone and it's obvious that they're not even paying attention.

Especially when that "someone" is your doctor.

The last four or five times I've been to my doctor's office, I've come away feeling just "this close" to sitting down and bawling my eyes out. Come to think of it, I actually HAVE sat down and cried a couple of times. It's like there's this huge disconnect between what I'm trying to say, and what they are hearing. And they don't even pretend to care.

When I say that I'm allergic to a host of medicines and that I quickly become allergic to any new ones - I mean that I'm concerned about chugging my body full of drugs because I know what happens next. And doctor, when you sit there and tell me that you're "pretty sure" that all my concerns aren't legitimate, it's not exactly comforting.

Last week I talked to my doctor about my severe allergies to various medications, and my concern about having an allergic reaction during labor. Particularly since I'm also allergic to Benadryl - which is what they'd normally give to stop an allergic response.

His reply?

"Hey, if you're going to go into anaphylactic shock, there's no better place to be than in the hospital!"

Are you kidding me? What are you going to do, shoot me up with Epinephrine (the only thing that still works for me) while I'm in labor? Do you not get that I'm trying to avoid triggering an allergic reaction? This is not about picking the best venue. It's about not going there at all!

I'd hoped that the other doctor I was scheduled to see this morning would be more willing to at least make me feel like he's listening. But no, didn't happen. It was like he was irritated with me before he even walked in.

If we still live in this area and there's a "next time around", I'm finding a new doctor. Someone who treats me like a human being who has a brain.

End of discussion.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.


Heidi October 13, 2009 at 9:00 AM  

Sarah, stay true to yourself, and when you're in the hospital, Marius needs to be your advocate! When I was pregnant with Allison I had to get another Doc, as mine went off my insurance plan. The new doc laughed at me about my preterm labor with Matt, and said it was my imagination since he did go term. Long story short, I saw my old Doc and told him what happened.....he was so sweet and got back on my insurance plan. Had Allison premature and sick, but he was on top of things. If I had gone to the other Doc, I fear I wouldn't have Allison today!

Also, last summer I was going to have blood drawn, and they cleaned my arm with the alcohol pad. I asked to wash it off or have them take blood out of my other arm, because I always have a reaction when an alcohol pad is used. The tech wouldn't listen to me. Drew the blood, and later that day I had blisters from the bend in my arm almost down to my wrist, and also up my arm. I knew it would happen from past experience, but let the tech intimidate me. I had to suffer for about 10 days, until it cleared up.

You know your body. I encourage you to be strong. If your mom will be at the hospital she might be a great advocate too, so then Marius can be there to support you. I'm praying that all of this won't be an issue for you, and that another doctor will be on call when you deliver! Can't wait to me your precious little son.

Heidi Melton

SKA October 13, 2009 at 9:08 AM  

Thanks Heidi, I'm so glad someone else has experienced this kind of thing. (Not to be callous to what you went through, of course!!!)

But I've just felt over and over that they're not taking me seriously, and that they don't believe me. It's really frustrating. And it can be so difficult to stand up and say "This is what I want, this is my body and I know what will happen. Even if I didn't go to medical school for a decade!"

Libby Rester,  October 13, 2009 at 9:16 AM  

oh, I feel your pain! I need new doctors here in MO and I am researching & reading reviews like crazy! Every obgyn I've ever been to is like you described and I hate it. Their offices seem more like rushed cattle yards. For what it's worth I did come across ONE lovely, listening, caring office...in the Dallas area...Craig Ranch OBGYN. So...if you ever move to TX and ever get pregnant again...there you go! :-)

Diana Lovin,  October 13, 2009 at 9:17 AM  

Yeyks :o

Holly Elias,  October 13, 2009 at 9:46 AM  

Unfortunately that is what the offices have become. Rushed!!! Our lovely healthcare system has made them cold and insensitive because of their patient load. Not at all defending them but pity them to an extent. The ones who are hurt the worst, the patients!!! I wish you could go to my OBGYN here because appointments are always running late, WHY? because when you are in his office, he listens to your concerns. Good thing too. When he heard about my Dad and possible hereditary issues, he ordered blood work for me immediately. Everthing turned out fine but because I was on meds. that would be fatal for me if I had anything of what my Dad had, it could have been real awful! I agree with Heidi. Marius needs to be your support and advocate as well as your mother or sister! Ask around at church or people you know in the area. They may have a better recommendation for a Dr. for you in the future! Praying for you!!!!!!

Angela October 13, 2009 at 1:21 PM  

It isn't too late to change practices. Find a midwife that delivers in hospitals. Remind the Dr next time that if something happens that you warned him about that you WILL be reporting him to the Georgia State Medical Board. Write down your concerns and have him sign that you did go over them. I know an awesome midwife who cares if you ever move here. :)

Raini,  October 15, 2009 at 3:02 PM  

I feel your pain. I hated my dr. while I was preg. with Levi and ended switching in the middle of the preg. because of them treating me like my concerns and wishes were silly and of no value. I was thrilled with my midwife. I hope that this has a good resolution for you.

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