setting the record straight...

>> Saturday, July 11, 2009

It seems that some readers might be in confusion about the reason for this blog, and the motives behind post subjects.

Just for the record, I can't wait to meet my son. Doesn't mean I've got to love being pregnant.

For your information, I'd hardly been sick a day in my life until I got unexpectedly pregnant. Almost 5 months of bed rest, 24-hour a day nausea, miscarriage scares and other complications, facial psoriasis and other skin anomalies - all combine to make this once very active blogger feel quite discouraged at times.

When you're a 2-meals-and-3-litres-of-water-a-day, 6-days-a-week at the gym and 3-to-4 months of international travel a year kind of girl, several months in bed with no social interaction, no energy, gnawing hunger every 1.5 hours, and total inability to open a refrigerator to get your own snacks without heaving over the sink from the food smells - yeah, it can wreak havoc on your perspective.

Of course, I could blog about the number of times I feel Munchkin kick every single day.

Or write rapturous posts about the moments I stand randomly in the kitchen daydreaming about what my son will look like. Will he have curly black hair like his daddy? Green eyes like his grandaddy? Olive skin or fair?

Or I could drone on about the "magical experience" of embracing all the new curves (whether I wanted them or not)...

Or maybe I should fill this blog with posts about how I'm perfectly certain that my child will be the cutest, smartest, most adorable creature in the world.

But honestly, who wants to read that? There are thousands of mommyblogs out there, where women flood pages of cyberspace with nearly-identical details about their daily lives. And if you're blogging to keep distant family and friends updated with photos and stories, then - perfect! Good for you. Stick with your genre.

This blog isn't about that.

I'm a writer. This blog has a niche. That niche is not aiming for magical, sappy, or daily family updates. It's about finding humor - or the lack of it - in the changes that come to an international career woman while making the transition to mother. It isn't about sugar-coating, or glossing over, or making myself sound heroic or joyful when I'm actually scared and depressed.

It's about being real. About eagerly anticipating a lifetime acquaintance with this new human being growing inside me, and not pretending to necessarily love the process of getting there.

So, dear readers, keep the comments flowing. They inspire me. They remind me of things I might ought to blog about.

And they definitely make the blog more interesting! Who wants a boring blog, anyway?

Not this chick.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.


Call Me Crazy July 11, 2009 at 9:14 PM  

Never been pregnant, but I've thought it would be an amazing experience. I can't imagine how awful it would feel to get there and feel miserable ALL the time! I think being sick IS way harder on those of us who do normally feel very healthy and great all the time. You need to get a more teenage audience to read your blogs so they can get the REAL side of things before acting irresponsibly. :-)

Roger Cox July 11, 2009 at 9:31 PM  

Sarah ... Obviously we have had a miscommunication. I am fond of saying you cannot violate the laws of physics, you can only validate them. .... Only a physicist would say that. Now here is a new one.

It assumes you have had organic chemistry. You cannot violate the laws of organic chemistry, you only validate them. You have and in spades.

Not that you did anything wrong, I would in fact argue that you didn't. Getting pregnant is something most people do intentionally and I hope there is no sin in that or we are ALL in trouble.

It is just that one thing follows another. Some pregnancies are difficult for the mother and thankfully some are easy too. The fundamentals of why this is so is just simple basic organic chemistry.

I guess it would take a real geek to laugh at that ... LOL. Well, that's my sad attempt at humor.

It is well known that the bonding between child and mother begins in the womb. Perhaps you and this particular child are going to bond particularly well. We can hope. It has been a tough pregnancy for you.

It seems unlikely to me that the next (if there is a next) pregnancy will be as hard.

Consider the baby though too. If this is hard for you, is it possible ... nah likely ... it is hard for the baby too.

At the minimum, you will be happy and so will the baby .... WHEN it is born.

There has to be something good in this pony stable. With all the evidence of a pony, there must be a pony somewhere!

Libby July 11, 2009 at 9:49 PM  

well clarified :-)
And, btw, I'm personally enjoying your blogging perspective. Thanx for keeping it real.

Dione Weatherman,  July 11, 2009 at 11:08 PM  

For the record I LOVE your blogs. I hear stories about pregnant ladies who were "never sick a day", "my skin never looked better" and "what's a stretchmark" and I just want to say to them "I hate you" (I mean that fecceciusly and not literally). Like you I was sick as a dog for all 9 months and had to consider what I ate from the perspective of what it was going to taste like coming up.
Its all worth it once you hold the baby and know that its safe, but you're right, you don't have to enjoy the journey just the destination. :)

Patricia,  July 12, 2009 at 12:30 PM  

I will always regret that moment when I found out I was pregnant again just after I finally got my body back in shape from my first pregnancy, because when I found out I was pregnant for the second time I just sat down on the bathroom floor and started to cry, If I only knew that the time of my pregnancy and that first month of her life was the only memories I would share. Wether it was morning sickness, heartburn, and backaches that I experienced It was all worth it, even for the short month we spent together. I am now expecting twins, and my body is doing crazy things but I have the memory of my little girl to remind me to take it all in strides and be thankful for all the annoying kicks in the middle of the night, cause there is once more life in me, each moment is a memory to cherish. Doesn't mean all the discomfort and everything else that comes with pregnancy goes away, but it has taken on a whole new meaning this time around. Hope for new life and new beginnings.

Jessica,  July 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM  

well said Sarah!

Roger,  July 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM  

Loved this blog ... reason, logic, clarity, .... what's not to like about the series...


Chelli,  July 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM  

Emma (my 3) was unexpected! I was finally getting back to a great weight bought all new clothes, Enoch was about 6 months old and I found out I was almost 3 months along-uggh! I cried and I cried. We were going to seminary no money no conference to pick us up only the kindness of our family! In those months when I would call my mom and said I can't have anothe baby...I was so blessed. God revealed Himself daily. And when she came and it really was my little girl I knew I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Your blog is amazing, God bless you and keep you both safe and sound (of body and mind).

Heidi,  July 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

I, too, enjoy your blogs! My mom always told me how much she loved being pregnant so I assumed it would be a fun & magical experience. I found instead that I very much disliked the process. I know, obviously, that we'll get something wonderful out of it. But as far as actually being pregnant - I hate it! I'm thankful I have less than a month left & I'm planning on this being my last pregnancy. My back hurts so much more this time around. While it is neat to know we're "growing" a baby inside of our bodies, it doesn't mean we have to enjoy the aches & pains that come along with it!

Diane,  July 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

Sarah...there isn't a single woman out there (whether the pregnancy was planned or not) that hasn't been discouraged in the way her body has changed during pregnancy. Your hormones go crazy and you are so excited to see your baby but you are crying because you look fat...that is so normal. For the reader that misinterpreted...the blog is all about the normal changes and emotions that you go through when you are pregnant!! Keep your spirits can get back to that 6 pack and don''t let anyone tell you any different and you will have your beautiful son right by your side all the way. :) God bless.

Roger,  July 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

At the risk of oversimplifying (and I make no claim of knowing what pregnancy is like) It sounds like pregnancy is a lot like developing ideas that explain complex phenomena:
1. It's hard work.
2. It's often difficult.
3. (when you are wrong) it is often painful.
4. Nobody seems to understand what YOU are going through.

And like pregnancy:
When completed and everyone is admiring the new baby, you take great satisfaction and joy in the new creation.

TY Sarah for your insights and willingness to share them. :)

Debbie Thompson Kippel July 12, 2009 at 12:58 PM  

Why do women get pregnant a second time, after going through the craziness of pregnancy?!?!? I'm not ready for round two yet! Hope you can get through today and find something good to eat. :0)

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