2010

So it's the beginning of the end of a decade.

I remember as a child, counting the years forward to 2000. "I'll be 20 then," I would tell myself. "I really, really hope Jesus doesn't come before I have a chance to get married..."

Right.

It's 2010, I've been married nearly seven years, and if you told me this time last year that I would have a two and a half month old son right now - I'd have laughed heartily.

2009 was a tough year.

It was the year I've been sicker than any other time, for longer, in my entire life.

It was a year that required setting aside one calling (a global ministry position), and taking up another (motherhood).

I can't say I've loved the process.

I wish I could say I've handled the entire experience with consistent grace and poise. If I did I'd be in total denial.

Some days I conquered it. Most days it conquered me back.

On December 31st, I reflected (while nursing the baby) on my role in the 2009 rollercoaster. I realize that 2010 may not be much easier, although for different reasons.

All of it has been out of my control. But I also realized that the one thing I can control is my reaction.

I can control how I respond. I can choose to be gracious or grouchy. I can decide to be poised or prissy. I can make those around me either miserable or merry.

And while I could make many resolutions for 2010 (like dropping the last 15 baby pounds, or baking my own whole wheat bread, or canning my own applesauce this summer), there is really only one that I want to set for myself.

In 2010, I want to be a reflection of kindness to my son and my husband. I want them to see Jesus in me.

I want every day to start fresh, to be an opportunity for new decisions that make the people around me feel loved and blessed.

I've always loved how Carolyn Arends put it in her song "New Year's Day":

I buy a lot of diaries
Fill them full of good intentions
Each and every New Year's Eve
I make myself a list
All the things I'm gonna change
Until January 2nd
So this time I'm making one promise

Chorus:
This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day
This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day

I believe it's possible
I believe in new beginnings
'Cause I believe in Christmas Day
And Easter morning too
And I'm convinced it's doable
'Cause I believe in second chances
Just the way that I believe in you

This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day
This could start a revolution
Every day is...

One more chance to start all over
One more chance to change and grow
One more chance to grab a hold of grace
And never let it go.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)