it's ok, I can take my brand loyalty elsewhere!

Calling all church architects, restaurant owners and store managers:

You really have no excuse for failing to put changing tables into your women's bathrooms unless you want poopy diapers to be changed on your pews, booth seats and display tables.

For that matter, men's restrooms should have changing tables too. It's a new century. Men change diapers now. Except of course when they are somewhere that the only changing table is in the ladies room. (Then I'd hate to be a single father stuck in your place of business or worship!)

It's time to end this blatant inattentiveness to the needs of young families. Unless, of course, you're subtly implying that we are not welcome in your establishment. In which case we are happy to take our children elsewhere to experience their childhood memories and develop their earliest brand loyalties.

Which means that, without the interest of the next generation, your establishment is ultimately doomed to die a lonely death - whether you are a store, a restaurant or even a church.

We who have small children WILL find a place that welcomes us.

But hey, it's totally your choice whether that place is yours!

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before you become a mother...

...nobody can tell you:

• how you will break down and cry when you see your baby's face the first time.
• how you will melt when you hear his first cooing sounds - and keep melting at all the ones that follow.
• how you will never fully, deeply sleep again because you have one ear tuned to their cries.
• how you can be standing in a room filled with babies and still know when YOUR baby is the one crying.
• how you will somehow find the energy to stay awake and pleasant each day after months of sleepless nights, physical exhaustion, and hormonal swings.
• how you would throw yourself in front anything to protect your child.
• how tears fill your eyes at the mere thought of something happening to your baby. 

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© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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the difference between mommies and daddies... (1)

This was the Mommy's profile photo on Facebook last week:
You know, all sweet and sappy and mother-son mushy.

This was the Hubby's profile photo at the same time:
All warrior-fighter son and father-pride.

And that pretty much says everything you need to know about the difference between mommies and daddies.

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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on family & friends

People say these days that your real family are the people you choose, not the ones you were born to.

But what if the people you choose and the ones you were born into are the same ones? Of course, there are always those friends you make who become like family - but why should they necessarily trump your own blood?

As Little Man arrived and the Hubby and I experienced a whole new spectrum of emotion, exhilaration and exhaustion - we've been incredibly blessed to have our family members nearby. My mom and dad spent nearly all day every day with us at the hospital, helping and supporting and sharing wisdom from their own experience. I don't know that you've ever seen two prouder grandparents. Dad even made a special trip to the Tractor Supply Store, JUST to find newborn-size John Deere baby socks, bright green and all!

Granddaddy & Grandmommy

And while the Hubby's family wasn't able to be there at the birth, they did come and visit after we got home. Auntie M was too tickled to stand still, and Buni (gramma) brought a beautiful handmade quilt in soft fuzzy flannel that she made for Little Man.

The Hubby & Auntie M

Both in the hospital and after we came home, friends and church members made an effort to bring food, as well. So many new mommies bring home their new babies and have to go it alone. I don't know how they do it, without the help of loved ones. And I'm so thankful for everyone's support, kindness, and love.

Y'all are AMAZING!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

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thinking about fathers...

This video brought tears to my eyes. We shared it today during our Father's Day program at church (hosted and presented by our Women's Ministries team).

Thought I'd share it in honor of all the dads who take their fatherhood role seriously.

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on daddy's love...

This morning, we spent a few quiet moments just soaking each other in - knowing that my husband was heading to the Amazon jungle for the next couple of weeks.

I'd usually be swinging from trees right beside him, but somehow this whole halfway-through-pregnancy-thing has put the kibosh on my energy level. Bleh.

So, in the sweet early morning hours, the three of us spent a few uninterrupted moments together. Marius sang a little made-up-on-the-spot morning song to my belly. And then he started giving baby instructions.

"Now Tristan, you be good while I'm gone. You take good care of your mommy and make sure nothing happens to her and that she doesn't work too hard, okay?"

I've never heard anything more precious in my life.

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on waving goodbye...

Today my husband left for a mission trip in Brazil. Two weeks in the Amazon Interior. Thirty-six hours up the Rio Negro by boat.

Yeah, I'm not worried a bit.

Okay, a little bit.

Actually, I'll miss him terribly (especially while lugging boxes and sorting out our personal effects in a new (old) house). But I believe he's going on God's errands. And while I did strongly (lovingly) forbid him to go swimming with any piranhas, or swing from any rainforest vines - I choose to put his safety in God's hands.

Besides, he's done trips like this before. He's an old pro.

He'll be fine.

I hope.

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when do parents get to pat themselves on the back?

Taking a break from the political observations...

A few days ago my husband and I were reading together before falling asleep. Expecting our first child has inspired a series of evening literary sessions on everything from nausea remedies to birthing options to character formation. And a whole lot of reminiscing together about our own childhoods and how we want to shape our home environment as an expanded family.

"When do you think parents get to congratulate themselves on a job well done?" I asked him suddenly. He stopped to think about it.

I know a lot of parents who walked around pretty smug when their 16-year-old was perfectly behaved while everyone else's teens were giving them horrors. But most of those perfect adolescent angels went wild and crazy by the time they were 22. Broke their parents' hearts.

Then there's the parents who thought for sure that their teen was going to be a lifetime rebel. And lots of them have settled down into successful, intelligent, God-fearing adults.

So I think that when parents go all self-congratulatory over their perfect teen, sometimes they're jumping the gun. Wait until that quiet, composed kid gets a chance to make all their own decisions and see if they still seem so perfect.

On the other hand, to parents of kids who test the rules, kick the boundaries, and generally try to figure out everything for themselves - I'd say "Don't despair until they're out of college - they have a lot of growing up to do between now and then!"

Of course I'm not advocating teen rebellion. But I think that youth who are guided through the treacherous process of sorting out their choices and taking personal ownership of their spirituality and beliefs have a lot better chance at being healthy adults. Even if it means they have to test their childhood theories a bit in order to find that ownership and surrender.

But the real test? I think it's when your kids start to have their own kids. Do their little rebellions continue? Or do they buckle down to the business of shaping characters for the next generation? We all tend to be a little more comfortable excusing our faults and habits when we're only responsible for ourselves. But when we become responsible for another's life - that's when we show our true selves.

So parents, if you question your kid's sanity at times - just give it a few more years. Odds are, when they start on the road to parenthood, they'll be re-thinking every little indulgence they ever allowed themselves.

And if you're one of those blessed parents whose adult children choose to imitate the best of your parenting and give their babies as caring a childhood as you gave them - then you can breathe deep and sit back knowing that you truly did your job well.

(Mom & Dad, are you reading this? I hope you're reading this. You'd better be reading this!)

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